  Well, I was on plan yesterday.&nbsp; Finally!&nbsp; I swear that first day getting back OP is the worst.&nbsp; And I almost blew it over a bowl of cereal last night.&nbsp; I was hungry.&nbsp; It was a legitimate snack, I just didn't need two serving sizes.&nbsp; So I opted for oatmeal instead.&nbsp; Not quite as good, but, hey I ate it. I did have&nbsp;another revelation of something.&nbsp; I was reading an article from urlLink http://www.frolicanddetour.com/losingthecow/ &nbsp;and she said something that really struck a cord in me.&nbsp; She said that she realized that one reason she was having such a hard time with loosing weight was because " Your using it for something. " &nbsp; Meaning her weight.&nbsp; Wow, that really said something to me.&nbsp; Was I using my weight for something.&nbsp; I could feel the fear rising inside me at the thought of actually getting all this weight off.&nbsp; What was that???? Why am I afraid of loosing all this excess weight? I'm afraid I still won't get a date, even if I'm thin. I use my weight as an excuse to not do anything, travel, go places by myself.&nbsp; I won't know what to do with myself. I won't know who I am. Dirty old men will look at me, YUCK. I'm so used to being fat, I ...... So what do I do with these fears? I don't care about "getting a guy".&nbsp; If no one want to date me, it's HIS loss.
Even if I loose the weight, it doesn't mean I HAVE to do anything that I'm uncomfortable with doing.&nbsp; It doesn't mean I have to do something incredible with my life.&nbsp; God is still in control.&nbsp; He will tell me what to do next. I'll rely on God to tell me that. O.K. I'm still the same person.&nbsp; My appearance will change, but not WHO I am.
So what? Yes, that's true.&nbsp; But I can also get used to being thinner as I go along.&nbsp; It's not going to happen over night anyway.&nbsp; I'll adjust as I go. THERE IS NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF.&nbsp; LET GO OF THE OTHER STUPID SIDE OF THE ROPE!!!!!! I need to quit fighting myself.&nbsp; I need to quit being afraid to see the number on the scale go down.&nbsp; I mean, it really does scare me.&nbsp; But not anymore. Oh, and I put note cards up all over my house with notes to myself about eating healthy and exercising and doing it every day, one day at a time, to get to my goal.&nbsp; I think I'll make some more for the exercise room.&nbsp; &nbsp; 
