  U think.  you think that im typing all this for you. Hell no im typing this for me it helps me relax a little it lets me say anything i want without bytching right back at me the moment i say it!  so like it. it is not for you its FOR ME.  Me only Its happening part II-  All this drowning all this sufficating all this falling.  its all for me. im so overwhelemed with this gift.  its teaching me life right. so i guess all this is happening for a good thing.
 so next time ill kno wat to do. but u can u please tell me when all this will stop cuz its killing me its beating everything outa me its squeezing every last word thought breathe everytihng out of me.  it its making me crash down and break.  this is to be taught to me so that i learn it so next time i know what to do. well idk what to say.  WILL EVERYONE JUST MIND THERE F* CKIN BUSINESS!  oh my gosh i havent been so put down so fustrated so upset so pissed so anything in my entire life i thought last year was bad omg that wasnt even near as bad as this . i wanna go scream. scream till i dont have a voice anymore til my vocal cords are ruined. my eyes are being worn out from not alot of sleep crying and lookin at everything happening before me.  my head hurts being filled with all these thoughts. my hands hurt from all the writing all the typing my legs hurt from all the walking outside.  my mouth is getting tired from all the words that have been said my ears dont want to hear anymore they are tired of hearing all the painful words all the meaning less words that come out of your mouth!
 my chest hurts cuz i have to keep breathing cuz for real its hard to me to breathe.  i kno you care and i kno u dont care.  id love to talk to all of you who do but i dont kno what to say and id love to hurt all of u who dont care.  i care about alot of things but everyone seems to think differently.  but thats fine im sorrry u think that way i dont kno what to tell you.  my best friend is goin through alot of things too i wish that i could help her im just dont have enough strength to help myself right now.  im physically and mentally getting weak and weaker as time goes on Times heals everything right well how much time does it take to heal this.
 apparently a long time right?  well i wish i knew how long.  i wish everything could go back to normal but u wont let it will you.  u just wont.  i have nothng to give anymore im tryin to give you what i want u to have but i cant and what ur asking for i dont have that much to give.  im gonna continue this again later i love you -  christine 
