  Things are gettin a little bit better than how they were but not very much i still feel the same just not as much worried cuz now i kno i have someone there for me. i now have someone to to catch me when i fall to lift me up from drowing to uncover me so i can breathe.  but that doesnt mean they will alwayz be there for me so im still scared im scared of what is goin to happen to me next.  all i kno is things flash by me ppl that have helped me threw something such as Will Jessie Meredith Calvin.  There faces flash in my mind and its scarin me cuz i dont kno what that means but its like a 3second picture then the next person the the next and the next and its gone it goes back to the black hell of nothing. then as alwayz my head fills with crazy scary thoughts that may be true. im so scared of whats goin to happen next what will come to my mind what my actions will say what i will do what i will say im just so scared.  idk all i can say is that im scared. im scared to be alone now im scared to be around ppl im scared of everything. im just soo scared.  i dont kno and i wish i did!  im so lost so confused i dont kno anything i get chills .
 i alwayz get the chills and its not cold or ill feel extremely hot and its not even hot.  i et mixed feelings about certain things i dont know anymore i just hope that i get through all this ok . but so far im not ok.  im really not idc what u think i kno ppl are just like " oh christine shes alwayz happy shes not depressed she doesnt even kno what that means"
 well if u were mean id be like OMG i had no idea it was that bad!  well news flash of course u dont cuz obviously u dont give a damn or u dont kno anything about me to say that im not depressed.  idk what to tell you ppl!  but right now i gotta go i got another post i wanna do!
