  & nbsp;  WARNING:  This is the first blog entry,  and although I seem kind of whiney and depressed tonight,  don't expect this blog to remain that way.
nbsp;  I merely set the stage,  and the days/ weeks/ months can change. can't they?
 & nbsp;  & nbsp;  Sitting inside my pretty nice apartment ( that I am proud of,
 because it's the first one that's just mine! nbsp;  on a late summer's eve,  I realize that my life is starting to feel a bit like the douche I just described. nbsp;  It's Sunday night,
 around 2 in the morning,  my friends left a long time ago after Six Feet Under and Def Poetry. nbsp;  Amelie is on one of the Love channels,  and although I own the movie,  it's one of those movies that I have to watch when it is on&
nbsp; which,  when I really think about it, nbsp; I rarely end up watching any of& nbsp;
the movies I own) nbsp;  & nbsp;  At 25,  living in one of the best cities in the world (
Chicago)  I am bored out of my mind. nbsp;  I'm certain that as the summer continues,  and I resume my what- should-
be- the- opposite- of- depressing job in the fall,  the meaning of my current life will mysteriously reveal itself.
nbsp;  This online journal will capture the passing months as I venture through this& nbsp; thing that has been duped by the masses as my& nbsp; quarter-
life crisis. nbsp;  Hopefully emerging a better person on the way out.  & nbsp;  Here are the things I have figured out,
 as of right now:  & nbsp;  1)  I am too smart to be stupid,  and too stupid to be smart.
 & nbsp; nbsp;  & nbsp; nbsp;
nbsp; nbsp; nbsp; nbsp; nbsp;  &
nbsp; nbsp; nbsp; nbsp; nbsp; nbsp;
 - This ties into the fact that I am too fat to be skinny and too skinny to be fat. nbsp;  The link?  Well,  let's just say I eat when I am hungry and am too smart to throw it up or not eat at &
nbsp;  all. nbsp;  Sometimes I wish I was less informed and didn't so much mind throwing up. nbsp;  And I need to work out more than I do.
 & nbsp;  & nbsp; nbsp; nbsp;
nbsp; nbsp;  Note: nbsp;  I am not so fat that I cannot shop where you shop,  we're not plus size.
not that & nbsp;  that's a bad thing. nbsp;  I'm merely trying to let you know where I am at.  Besides,
 it's my & nbsp;  blog and I can write what I want.  & nbsp;  &
nbsp;  2) nbsp; I am certain that I've only begun to scratch the surface of places to go in this fair city,  but I am not aware of what's left necessarily- but there's gotta be more to that as well.
nbsp;  I have a month left before I trudge back to the grind. nbsp;  I think it's weird to be bored in a city.  & nbsp;
 & nbsp;  3) nbsp;  I have enough money to be able to go out whenever I want,  but not enough to accomplish what I really want to be doing.
nbsp;  And when I figure out exactly what that is,  I'll get back to you. nbsp;  Travel makes me happy.  &
nbsp;  I don't do nearly enough of it,  partially because my friends don't have the funds or the time off to go. nbsp;  Going to Michigan to see my parents every now and then hardly puts my urges to rest.  &
nbsp;  & nbsp;  4) nbsp;  I have some great friends.
nbsp;  We talk about things to death,  then we go to sleep feeling as though we've accomplished something by talking about it,  analyzing every aspect. nbsp;  We've spent the last two years since college talking.
nbsp;  Seems as though everyone my age group is unhappy with their lives ,  despite having a lot of amenities ( including location,  location,  location)
nbsp;  This whole quarter of a century mark has been harder than the rest because you really evaluate if you've done anything with your life to make a)  your 30s more stable and b)  yourself happy while doing ( a) nbsp;
 & nbsp;  & nbsp;  5) nbsp;
 My friends and I lost one of our other friends right after graduation from college. nbsp;  We are constantly struggling with the fact that " Life is so short,  we have to do things now!  VS.
 " Hey,  we're only 25,  we have our whole lives ahead of us,  let's go play! nbsp;
 Sometimes it's motivating,  but most of the time,  I just don't want to do anything about anything. nbsp;  Hanging out and having a drink and a smoke or twelve,  dollar burgers,
 sushi,  beach volleyball,  taking in a movie,  crappy reality tv. yeah,  that's living!
 Girls will understand that being 25 is a lot like an extended PMS trip. nbsp;  You don't want to sit,  you don't want to stand,  you don't want to& nbsp;
stay in,  you don't want to go out. just the blahs all the time. nbsp;  " How are you?
 " Fine.  " What's new?  " Same shit,
 different day.  & nbsp;  & nbsp;  Which brings me to my first conclusion,
 there's gotta be more to my life than this.
