  30 May 2003: If you're not on the list you're not coming in... &nbsp; Bonkers PLC launched one of the new penthouses last night with an exclusive party for invited guests only -2 bedrooms, medium sided balcony, but does have an integrated wine cooler - £950k... The MD, CEO and Chairman (our holy trinity) were allcoming, so everything had to be perfect and run likeclockwork for the 6pm start. You just know what's coming... 5.55pm The site guys were still painting, fixing the floors and a leaking shower until 5 minutes before the first guest arrived. Amazingly they managed to finish andget out without anyone seeing. So far, so good... 6.00pm Downstairs two doormen, hired in for the evening,&nbsp;direct the guests into the lift and up to the 9th floor, where we are waiting to hand out canapes and champagne. 6.02pm I realise that the two gas torches, also hired in for the evening&nbsp;at the entrance have not been lit and run downstairs to light them.
6.07pm Using one of those contraptions to light a gas cooker I get the gas torches alight. 6.09pm I go back up to the penthouse in the lift with some of the guests, hiding my right hand, which is completely black and there is a strong smell of scorched hair. 6.11pm I get a call from Hamptons, the estate agents, to say that the doorman is being rather zealous and has turned away 3 of the invited guests. 6.13pm I run back downstairs to tell the&nbsp;doorman to let people in, to find him telling current residents of the development that if they're not on the list, they're not coming in. A quick word in his ear to remind him of his brief and everything seems ok. I head back upstairs.
6.19pm I have a call from the doorman to say that a removal van has turned up to the entrance and new residents are dragging their furniture along the red carpet to the lifts. Black bin bags and a sack of cat litter on the red carpet is not a good look. I go downstairs to find out why the management office have booked in a removal when we are having the most important event of the year so far.
Getting out of the lift, I step over a rather nasty chest of drawers that is in bits to find the MD, CEO and Chairman getting into the other lift with the new arrival, his girl friend, 4 black bin bags and a cat. I pretend I haven't seen them. 9.50pm The rest of the evening having gone without incident, I am driving along the Embankment, almost home and looking forward to a drink on the terrace.
I suddenly have one of those "OhmygodIcan'tbelieveIdidthat" moments. I got rid of the final guests at 9.15pm, locked up the penthouse and took the lift down to the underground carpark. It's only as I pass Blackfriars, 30 minutes from the site and 2 minutes from home, that I realise I forgot to stop off at ground level and tell the doormen that the event is over and they can go home. 8.15am this morning I have a call from the security company to tell me that the doormen were there until midnight, but it really had quietened down from about 9.30 onwards... 
