  hey all So today is hard too. Everyone who sees me today asks me how I am, and I just end up crying. Yesterday was awesome in the fact that I got to see my cousins, Zach and Connor, who are like my brothers! I just wanted to hug them both soooo hard and take them home with us yesterday. They both came up to me within an hour of being there and both asked me if I would take them home with me last night from the cottage.
They aren't happy there and its only half of the family who sees that. My aunt Amanda and Ann and Uncle Martin don't see how unhappy they are there. They don't see that Zach and Connor are happiest when they are in Peterborough, when they are with my mom...the whole situation is fucked. But when it comes down to it....and the boys don't end up with us, we will end up contesting the will and seeking what is ultimately better for the boys in the long run.
They just can't be uprooted from everything they have here and move to a place where they have nothing...I can't live with that, and niether can the majority of my family... But we can only wait and see what unfolds... I am finally gonna talk to Andrew tonight too...i know I am going to be a mess tonight...I'm going to call him in an hour or so and talk to him...I will let you all know what is up with that too... This week has sucked royally...and I have feeling its just gonna get worse...and there is nothing, absolutely nothing that I can do...just wait... Waiting sucks... 
