  Malapit na naman ang uwian sa opisina so eto.. tingin muna ako sa urlLink www.pinoyexchange.com Punta ako sa Local and Foreign Issues me isang thread dun na tawa ako ng tawa! so share ko na lang sa inyo... urlLink http://www.pinoyexchange.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&amp;postid=5083173#post5083173 Kung wala kayong account sa Pinoyexchange post ko na rin dito... phalluscolossus : ang galing mo!! ______________________________________________________________ What if the following scenes happened instead in the Iraqi Hostage Crisis? Scene 1: Saudi ArabiaBoss : Okay, Angelo, your next assignment is delivering goods to the war-torn country of Iraq. Angelo : Iraq? No way dude.
They'd kidnap me and chop my head off. Boss : I'll double your salary. Angelo : Tang ina mo. Boss : Excuse me? Angelo : I said, its still not worth it. I love my head.
Boss : Okay. TRIPLE your salary. Angelo : Quadruple. Boss: Tang ina mo. Angelo : Well, since you put it quite nicely... Okay.
Scene 2: The Iraqi Highway Iraqi Masked Man1 (IMM1) - F*cking bulgarians didnt even flinch IMM2 : Yeah. Those koreans too. I tell you Ahmed, this hostage taking doesn't pay. IMM1 : Shh. Dont call me by my first name. The american spies are everywhere.
IMM2 : Sorry Ahmed. IMM1 : (glares at him) Hey! Whats that! It's a truck from Saudi! IMM2 : What luck! The driver's a Filipino.
They are America'sbiggest ally in the South Pacific! Lets Get him! (Struggle happens. The Iraqi Masked men grabs Angelo from the truck, beats him senseless and ties him up. ) Scene 3: The Iraqi Hideout IMM1 : Are you awake? Angelo : Tang ina nyo!
IMM2 : (slaps angelo) I didnt like the way you said it. What does that mean? Angelo : "Good morning", in Filipino. IMM1 : Oh, sorry. Scene 4: Al Jazeera TV taped broadcast from the Iraqi hideout IMM1 : People of the Philippines. Behold, we have in our hands one of your sons, Angelo dela Cruz.
Filipino People : (Gasps! ) IMM1 : We want freedom for our country. We also want to chop off this man's head. But we are reasonable. Withdraw your vast horde of infidels staying indefinitely from our motherland or else...(IMM2 whispers in IMM1 's ear. IMM's eyes light up.
) IMM1 : My mistake. Withdraw your measly fifty-one troops which I'm sure would not be able to make a dent in the US offense, one month ahead of schedule or we shall chop his bloody head off! We shall give you two days to decide..... (Pause) Tang Ina nyo. Scene 5: Malacañang Palace(President GMA is holding her phone in one hand and talking animatedly with the person on the other line) GMA : No, of course we will not give in to their demands. Terrorism is an act the Philippine government does not encourage. Rest assured, we will never pull out our troops.
And yes, I know the extremes to which you guys will do if we chicken out. (Mike Arroyo enters the room. GMA Puts down the phone and sighs) Mike: Hi hon, who was that on the phone? George Bush? GMA : Jay Leno Scene 6 : 4 hours later at a Radio station Commentator : And you believe we should pull out of Iraq? Bishop : Yes.
It is immoral that we are there in the first place. They should save the life of that man. Screw the americans! Commentator : Er... Wouldn't that give the wrong message? They are terrorists after all? Bishop : No, we shall show them that the Filipino people values life above such petty things as keeping promises, alliances and not negotiating with terrorists.
Commentator : You do know that the last bishop would have said "Let us pray for wisdom in these dark times" and light up candles and set up large prayer rallies for Angelo. Bishop : Screw him. I'm the Bishop now. Erap : (in faint background) Ibagsak si GMA! Scene 7: The Iraqi Hideout(IMM is talking animatedly on the phone) IMM1 : You pull out or we cut off his head! Voice on the Phone (VOP) : Can we at least talk to him so we know he's alive?
IMM1 : Ok. (Gives the phone to Angelo) VOP : How are you Angelo? Angelo : Tang ina mo . IMM1 : (chuckles) Idiot. It's evening in the Philippines. VOP : Magsasalita ako sa tagalog para hindi nila alam ang sasabihin mo. Angelo : Ayoko na dito!
Ambaho baho, ndi naliligo tong mga to. Gusto ko nang mamatay! VOP : (pause) Hmmm... Nasaan ka. Ipapasalvage natinyan sa mga kaibigan nating Kano. Walang kwenta mga pinadala natin tropa dito e. Angelo : Ayos. Nandito ako sa 911 Iraqi Hideout Ave., corner Baghdad Drive.
VOP : Ayus. IMM1 : Are you done? VOP : Yes. We will pull out. Tang Ina mo. IMM2 : It's Good Evening.
Idiot. Scene 8: 4 hours later at an other Radio Station Commentator : ...and we have confirmed that Malacanañ has been getting very good results with the negotiations.Angelo's relative (AR) : I dont believe that. They should tell us what is happening. We shouldn't have news black outs. The country NEEDS to know what GMA will do. Commentator : ...but it will hamper the negotiations and probably endanger the hostage.
AR : Basta! We need to know! Yadda Yadda. We need to know! Erap : (in faint background) Ibagsak si GMA! Scene 9: 2 hrs later in Malacañan Palace(GMA is preparing a broadcast for nationwide TV) GMA : Good evening my countrymen.
I would like to update you on what my legitimate government is doing for Angelo who will be my guest of honor when i give the SONA next week. There will be no pull out. I repeat. There will be no pullout. We have pinpointed the location of the hideoout of Angelo's abductors at...(reads paper)...911 Iraqi Hideout Ave., cor., Baghdad Drive. American strike teams are now on the way to exterminate them... Salamat.
Pagpapapatayin natin ang mga ga gong yon. Mabuhay tayong lahat. Mabuhay ako. Ang galing ko talaga. Scene 10: 911 Iraqi Hideout Ave., cor Baghdad Drive(The Iraqi abductors are looking at a TV broadcast from Manila) IMM2 : Ahmed, what do u mean, that I have a red dot on my forehead? ***THE END*** __________________________________________________________ HAHAHAHAHAHHA 
