  Picture this: Early January 2002 25 year old female, married to her 25 year old husband of 7 years (sweethearts since middle school). They have one child, a 15 month old daughter and are expecting twin boys in May. They own their own 3 bedroom brick home with a huge fenced yard in a nice neighborhood. (They bought their first home at 18 and have since traded up). Each has a current year car. Hubby is an up and coming police officer winning lots of merits and awards, wife gets her choice of staying home with baby or shopping with her mom. Since they also co-own 2 Subway franchises, they are quite comfortable and doing well for themselves. They even have the basic black lab to complete the picture. Perfection right? Well, you'd think so, I know I did. Early April 2002 It's been 4 months and let's check on our happy family. 18 month old daughter...check.
Black Lab...check. Still expecting in May? Nope....Surprise! Wife was placed in the hospital in early February, in labor at 23 weeks, put on bedrest and lots of drugs, no warning at all. Boys were delivered by c-section on March 2nd, 10 weeks early, 3 lbs apeice and are currently in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at the local hospital. They'll be coming home in a week. Wife has been home for 3 weeks, but wishes she could go back to the hospital and die.
It appears hubby doesn't want to live at home anymore. Doesn't want stress of three children, nagging and tired wife, etc. He is going to move in with "friends" but for the sake of appearances doesn't see the need to tell anyone he's leaving. Wife, understandable upset (way to mild a word) goes along with it. Brings home preemie twins, takes care of adorable toddler, cleans house, pays bills, and slowly teeters toward alcoholic when noone is watching.
She doesn't remember much of the next year, but somehow slogs through day after day of misery and despair, conteplating suicide, but holding out for her children's sake. December 2002 It's her birthday now, she's finally accepted that her husband isn't coming home as he promised, but hasn't mustered the strength to file for divorce. One of her and her hubby's old friends has been chatting with her online. They've always gotten along pretty well and lately conversations have carried sexual overtones and belied interest on both sides. Oddly enough, even though she's had no sex in over a year, she still maintains high standards and has thought about these overtures for quite some time, finally coming to a decision on her birthday. It's wonderful to feel wanted again. Cared for and desired, if not quite loved. In fact love isn't what either wants. Her friend is polyamourus, but married, so a long term relationship is far-fetched at best. But they do care for each other, even coming to feel love and jealousy. They stay together for 8 months, meeting at her house or his for quick, needy trysts and mumblings of a love that neither really belived was there. Even the friend's wife became involved, talking with her for long intervals, hanging out together, and introducing her to her first threesome.
Such a drab word for an experience that would be the beginnings of the evolution of her new life. August 2003 She filed for divorce in March. It hasn't been pretty. Funny how new things come to light all the time. Those friends her hubby lived with turned out to be a girlfriend. And though she wouldn't find it out for another few months, he and his girlfriend had a daughter, a little spitting image of daddy, just shy of 1 year at this point. Oh yes, that hurt. Still hurts. But she doesn't know that yet. At this point she is excited and on the brink of new love.
Her friend and his wife have pointed her in the direction of a wonderful new element in her life, this one taking the shape of a 42 year old man from a state many miles away. His thoughts, his words over the computer and through the phone lines and sent her heart and mind whirling. She's cautious, but also curious. Enough so that he will be flying in to meet her anytime. Want to know a secret? Through words and photos they have found themselves so enthralled that he proposed, and she accepted.
But shhh! They haven't offically met yet, and don't want anyone to see how crazy they are! Their first meeting is more than expected. Surreal and mind-boggling. Oh yes, it happens, love before first sight. Her kids loved him, she loves him. He can only stay a weekend, but they have no doubt he'll soon be back. December 2003 5 months have come and gone.
Her hard fought divorce is in it's final stages. Her finace right at her side. It's their first Yule together, but they hope for many more. They will be married soon. Her kids and his will make a family that neither thought they would ever be a part of. Many are angry, feel betrayed by their love, wary of their differences, angry at their happiness, but they're strong. Look at the past years, how could she not be meant to find this happiness she now has. There are many missing details, most ugly and trying hard to be forgotten. But the point is that you can climb out of hell. You can go to the brink of alcoholism and pull yourself back, find love when you thought you were unlovable. Then even suck in your breath and tell the world about it. 
