  Ok,  so I finally went out and bought the Ashlee Simpson album.  I don't care what any of my music snob friends think ( and believe me,  I've taken TONS of crap for this one)  I LIKE IT -
 A LOT!  No,  it's not deep,  the music is not structurally complicated,  but I like what she has to say and I love love love to sing along.  And a certain individual (
who prefers to remain anonymous because he has deviated from his previous standards and admitted to liking it too -  and no it's not Peter)  said that if she ever gets really big that I could be a dead- on impersonator for her.  I don't think I look much like her -  maybe a little in the face -
 but I think what he meant is that she and I sound very similar when we sing,  which I take to be a compliment.  The idea of making a living imitating someone else's music isn't the least bit appealing,  but I'm choosing to ignore that part of it and just go with the idea of someone else actually liking my voice.  That little bit of validation is important now and then.  Speaking of Pete,
 I'm sure he will give me a good bit of hell when we get in the car together and I start singing along.  He's always loved my voice,  and actually encourages me to sing around him,  which is slightly embarrassing sometimes,  but we have very " different"
 taste in music.  I don't think he's going to be an Ashlee Simpson fan -  haha!  It's kind of funny really,  because all the big losers in my past tended to be either in a band,  musicians,
 or artists;  no matter how many times I got walked all over by self- absorbed and self- proclaimed " artists"  I continued to seek them out and subject myself to more.
 Which is not to say that all musicians/ artists are self- absorbed,  but my experiences have enabled me to make at least a pretty strong hypothesis.  I had the " bad-
boy- rocker"  complex going on for a real loooong time.  The irony is that I spent a long time " looking"  for someone who shared my interest in music and art,
 and the guy I happen to meet ( by accident,  when I wasn't even paying attention)  and fall head over heels in love with has very little interest in music,  and what interest he does have is very different from my own.  Anyway,
 I really wish I had done something with my so- called vocal " talent"  -  or even been encouraged at some point by my " by the books"
 mother to do something irrational like take voice lessons or perform in local theatre groups or shows ( instead of studying classical piano -  like my sister -  or keeping my nose in the books because I was destined for " greatness"  ie:
 some professional degree which is not only boring but has nothing to do with who I am,  hence the big bomb- dropping announcement that I decided not to go to law school " and you're not talking me into it"  last year)  I've dabbled in 5 different instruments,
 and at least as many " majors"  and never really found satisfaction with any of them,  except of course for singing.  When I sing I feel on top of the world;  it's such a release,
 more than I could ever feel winning a lawsuit or writing a prize- winning paper.  Although I don't think I'd ever be able to handle " fame"  -  it would drive me even more insane.
 So for now I'll have to limit my self- indulgent outpourings to the occasional Karaoke contests and driver's side shows in the Red Demon.  ;  On another note,  the Bursar's office confirmed that my finances are in order.  Yay!
 I get so worked up over money.  Tonight Harry and I are bringing my elliptical machine up to my apartment.  Lifting that thing up 2 HUGE flights of stairs is not something I'm looking forward too,  but I do feel a hell of a lot stronger since I started lifting in the past month.  AND,  today I put on a pair of jeans that I bought a few weeks ago and they are definitely loose.
 Word.  Off to go clean ( and sing)  - C 
