  I've decided to move out of my comfortable life here in Montreal and head out west. I am still in a position where I can safely back out of this, but don't think that will happen. I am full of many thoughts and fears about this, but feel that this is a perfect time to get out and discovery a part of my country I know nothing about. Part of me thinks it is crazy to leave such a wonderful city like Montreal, with its cheap rent, great atmosphere and good friends that I've met while living here. But there is another part of me that is bored, unchallenged, and maybe too comfortable. The daily routine of my 9-5 job has cause me to fear for my creative well-being, and my reaction to that is to escape. It might not be the best way to deal with my problem, but it's what I feel is right. But why not just quit my job? Why pack up and move thousands of kilometers away? Well, why not? I don't think I'm convinced that I will find something in Montreal worth staying for, so if its going to be hard, why not use the time to familiarize myself with another city? For the most part this is enough to convince me to go -but its not always that simple. People are pushing for me to stay, even my parents said they would rather I didn't move out west, and really, I would find it so much easier to get a job in Toronto than Vancouver.
Toronto will always be there, and I feel that I will eventually end up coming back there. So for now, while I am young, not tied down to anything and willing to go, I should take this opportunity and learn from the experience it will bring. It's true that in the back of my mind I don't think I will last very long -and that's OK. I know that I have my family and Toronto to fall back on. But who knows how long I'll be out there? I'm trying to leave things very open, so that I don't feel stuck in any one place. Leaving Montreal is definitely sad -it's the first city that I've ever felt was mine . I know this place, I know how to get around, and I feel comfortable here. But when I picture myself over the next 5 years, for some reason I can't see Montreal as a big part of my life.
I've always felt that this was somewhere I would return, but I really feel as though my time here is done -for now. I don't appreciate the town as much as I used to; I see the dirt, and the violence and homelessness, and I don't take advantage of all the wonderful things here as much as I could. And it's not that I expect things to be amazing and wonderful anywhere else I go, but it may just be that I come to appreciate Montreal more after I'm gone than while I'm here.
My feelings on all of this seem to change on a daily basis, so over the next few months it will be interesting to see how everything works out. I am excited and nervous, but also hopeful. 
