  It's amazing how the days after a perfect vacation can be so miserable. No reason really. well, lots of things to think and stress about. but wow, that was a great trip. We got to Buxton Thursday night, after driving through a lot of standing water on Hwy 12. Hurricane Alex had definitely left its mark.
We got to say hello to the beach while we waited for others to arrive. We found out later that it would only be 11 of us, but in the end that seemed perfect. It was a great bunch - Alexa and Pete, Chris and Tana, Mark T, Mark E, Philip, Nisrine, Sarah, Susan, and myself. Friday, we started the day with a devotion and life story. I went first and they got an ear full. It was supposed to be 10 minutes and I think it was at least 45.
Lots of tears. show and tell of the nieces and nephews. I had just been diagnosed with fibromyalgia on Thursday afternoon, so that was my chance to let everyone know. Then they all prayed for me. Very powerful prayer time. I was really thankful for that.
Then, we headed to the beach. And what an experience that was. First, Philip creamed me on a boogie board. Major wipe-out. thanks a lot. He pinned me down, and I yelled at him, "Get off of me!!
" I was so mad, I turned around and dove back into the next wave. That was the next major mistake. Within a few seconds, I was hundreds of feet down the beach, unable to stand up. The current was so strong after the hurricane, I couldn't believe it. Between the pounding waves and that current, I really started to get scared. I kept trying to get back to the shore but I couldn't make it.
Finally, I started crawling out. Nisrine got there just as I managed to get out on all fours. She helped me to the shore where I gasped for breath for a while (and didn't even feel a crab crawling on me). Then she and Alexa helped me back to where everyone else was. I literally had about 3 cups worth of sand in my bathing suit. Everyone was pretty worried about me.
not half as worried as I was about myself. We gave up and went back to the motel for lunch. Then the Marks went to check out another beach - that's the nice thing about Hatteras - you get to chose which side of the island has the best surf. So it turned out that the south-facing beach was absolutely peaceful. We headed over there and I finally got to float like I love. Then we packed up the cars and headed for 10cent shrimp, only to find out that it was too late.
So we headed back and had our cookout instead. Then we went for frozen custard at Uncle Eddy's, and Isaac offered us a free round of golf. I got one real whole in one and two honorary ones. My best round of putt-putt ever - a 42. Not to bad considering my usual showing. I started to get really tired that night.
My feet were really hurting. Hard to stand after a while. Had a major confrontation with Philip after that, but it was good in the end. I was very glad to get all that off of my chest. It's amazing how creepy it is when he tries to touch me. I don't even want to shake his hand.
Saturday was the perfect day. Perfect. Started with Mark waltzing into our room while I was still in my pjs. He started cooking breakfast, and I just stayed on the couch until I could make a beeline for the bathroom. He messed up the pancakes and smoked up the room while trying to cook bacon, but it was pretty cute. Darn it, really cute.
Then we moved to our new room, and two more folks shared life stories. Mark shared his, and I just wanted to hold him afterward. It was so sad. I had a vision about God turning the charred remnants of his heart into diamond incrusted gold. I hope it's true. Then the news came back that the surf was perfect, including for me wanting to float.
So we went out, and sure enough, I got to float for at least 3 hours. Very very happy. I had a hard time accepting that it was time to come in. that was when God gave me the refrain: it is enough. It is more than enough. Thanks be to God.
I feel like I have to write a Psalm about that, but I'm not sure what it needs to say yet. then we went for 10 cent shrimp again, and that was wonderful. sat next to Mark. happy. then, the most amazing - kayaking in the sound at sunset. wow.
incredible. so peaceful, so beautiful. I wish I could do that every day. okay, so I'd settle for once a month. silence. easy to be with people.
Mark talked to Sarah a lot, but they talked about ethics and I don't have to know everything about ethics. she does, because she's getting a PhD in it. she's jealous of me for my overseas work. I don't have to be jealous of her. will she and mark get together? After kayaking, we headed to dinner.
the Outrigger? FABULOUS soft shell crabs. note to self: if that's available, get it every time! sat next to Mark again. felt like we connected on a few things. including the fact that we ordered exactly the same meal.
he has dreamy eyes. did I mention that? sad hazel eyes, but the laugh lines aren't tanned, so they stand out more now. sad eyes with big bright laugh lines. laughter through tears, my favorite emotion. then the bonfire.
singing great songs. I got to sing. then I went and watched the moon over the water while the others sang. feeling solitary but not lonely. beautiful to watch the flicker of the bonfire on the sea foam as the waves came in. nothing like it.
saw a few shooting stars. mark and I walked up to the motel together. I was hoping to talk to him, but his car was there and he had to drive it back. have a good night. so I went to my room and stared at the stars a while. then I went in and saw his travel mug there.
had to bring it back to him, right? but when i went into his hotel room, he was changing. oops. thought you might need this. oh, yeah, thanks. good night.
but left feeling happy. I tried. I was strong. decided if I woke up by 7:30 I'd go to church. I woke up at 7:25. went to church at Little Grove. I think I surprised him.
sweet folks there. told him I came because it reminded me of Concord Primitive Baptist. that's partially the reason. partially because I really just wanted to be near him. back to the motel, packed up, grabbed breakfast, realized that Alexa has had a hard life and is not perfect, went to Hatteras for church #2. good to be there. God gave me the verse Hebrews 11:11 - she considered him faithful who had promised.
I can do that. I know God is faithful. I know that without a shadow of a doubt. why do I feel like I have so little faith otherwise? mark and sarah? a little weird as we left.
sarah rode back with me. lunch, Mark E and his haircut. Philip's life story. I hope people understood a little more about him then. everyone else left. finished up Mark E's haircut while MT and I talked.
thought about telling him. but didn't quite fit. then Nisrine joined us. he asked about the diagnosis. was very kind about it. encouraged me to get into a support group.
probably will. need a ride to the airport? he looked at me like I was insane. well... bye sweetie, thanks for everything. at least I did get a hug out of it. drive home with Mark E and Nisrine.
I'm glad he was taking care of her. I slept some. hard to be home. I would have rather been at the beach. for another year or two. 
