  Since my divorce about a year and a half ago, I have dated several men in their late 40s. And a couple in their early-to-mid 50s who lied about their age. This is not really by choice, but because they were the only people who asked me out. And I've concluded that there is a problematic disconnect here, between what I want and what men seem to want. I want to date people my age, for one thing - I prefer to talk to somebody with the same cultural references. Like punk rock, for example. Men over 45 in the midwest haven't heard of it. Plus there is the whole physical attraction factor - as far as I'm concerned, kissing a 55 year old guy feels like kissing my dad, which seems uncomfortably fetishistic.
However, it appears that the only men attracted to me are at least 15 years older than I am. Why is this? I've developed a couple of working theories. First, men in general are attracted to women younger than themselves, because by definition younger women are more attractive and men all think they deserve more beauty than they themselves possess.
Second, men over 45 are less likely to form a rigid connection between thinness and beauty due to the kind of girlie pictures they were looking at as teenagers. I'm not fat, I don't think, but I'm kind of germanically medium sized with a round butt and big breasts and not much of a waist. Hm, maybe I am fat after all. I can't tell. So possibly I can just lose weight to accomplish my goal, but I'm not sure that is enough to offset the 15 year age difference requirement.
And my butt disappears when I get thin, which my ex-husband said was hideous (and he is my age and never seemed to find me at all attractive after we got married). And I hate dieting. Well, we'll see if I can develop some empirical evidence, I've been smoking again (dammit) so I'll probably drop some weight without having to try. Which brings me to haircuts. Men in their late 40s and beyond almost invariably have really bad haircuts.
There's the 1980s cop haircut, which you can also observe on male members of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Side part, not quite short enough above the ears somehow. Or they're going bald but refuse to cut hair surrounding their tonsure shorter than the cop haircut, leading to a Bozo the Clown appearance. This is a shame, because women do not object to baldness if it is allowed to happen gracefully. Which means cutting what's left short (no, do not shave your head). Keep in mind, baldness is just a sign of testosterone poisoning and suggests that you can still get it up reliably. Even worse, there is a segment of my sample population who persist in believing that they look younger/sexier/more dashing/cool with long hair. This is untrue, and the hair simply makes them look like old (old! ) hippies. Which, of course, they are - and I'm sure their locks looked fine in 1975.
However, long hair is for the very young, and having it cannot turn back the clock, guys. No man over the age of 35 should wear his hair long unless he's blessed with perfect, gorgeous, genetic freak hair or has dreads (excepting Eddie Van Halen, who also can wear parachute pants with impunity). If you absolutely must, wear it in a shag that doesn't go much longer than halfway down your neck. This can look ok, and is usually matched with vegetarianism, a goatee and Tevas. During my dating experiments, I have observed that these guys overwhelmingly lie about their age.
Why? Do they really think I can't tell just by looking? Even if that weren't enough to tip me off, stories about, say, Vietnam, will do the trick. The old saw is that women won't admit to age, but I've never lied to someone I wanted to date, at least not about that. There doesn't seem to be much point - one's years are an indelible fact. 
