  The night before, My mom had to lecture, scold, insult me. How to sleep?! I was trying to clear my mind. I was trying to relax, so that I could ease up to dreamland. I was really upset, she did these everyday.
Why can't she leave me alone! Does she think I am really the person that she accuse me to be! I am not, I am quiet because I am thinking. I chat online because I am distracting myself from project stress. I talk on phone because my friends are too busy to chat with me and my own mom would not even talk to me. I think I might explode. I have to deal with projects, lessons, finding jobs, friendship issues, group members' issues. Why does she enjoy making me sad, upset, hurt..... Its bad enough that she does not spare me any of her considerations, understanding, concern, love, motivation, respect, peace and trust. Instead she shower me with hate, disappointment, anger, insults, mocking, chaos...... I am only human, I really really need mental rest. Please leave me alone. I am trying so hard to keep up, and perform but I end up with no life. Still she tortures me. She screams at my ears, now my ears suffers from constant pain, ringing and they are no longer strong.
No one believes me, my mom is really horrible. But no one believes me. They think I am seeking attention. I tried to be a good person but she and her sisters still despise me. I feel like a stray, slave, servant in their presence. I am really so tired, so lonely, so wounded. Years of abuse, the wounds does not heal easily and fast. Old wounds are again tored up by my mom. She enjoys bringing up past issues that I tried to forget. Am I really that a person she said I am? 
