  I came home and ran my just-shy-of-three-miles circuit. Shaved a minute off the time. FLICK The switch was switched, and I was feeling wonderful, full of wonder, great and fantastic. If people could only understand how difficult, if not impossible, it is to control the "flick", that the change is so fast it makes our heads spin.
But being on the "ON" side is good, great, even. I love the limits I can push my body to. It's a drag that the BP meds have caused the 20 lbs weight gain they have, but I fight against it still. I know I'm slower when I run - 20 lbs will do that - but still I run. And as long as I can run, I can drown out the sounds in my head with my own foot falls, the rhythm of my breathing reminding me the good reasons to be alive . 
