  so i figured i would start some sort of journal... so here we go . my name is joshua axelson and i am fourteen currently... and i am going to be freshman soon enough and well.... i dont know if my mind can handle it. i have a feeling that i have depression which makes me a very odd person some times. some times i can be very happy but not often i am usually sulking feeling miserable no not usually just some times .... more than happy, lets put it that way. I often feel i am burdened by my maturity.... no that sounds snobby or just bad... i am burdened by my high standards of my self. I refuse to drink or do drugs... although trust me it would be very easy to get em'. And well i get so dam stressed over shit and I just need some sort of release... you know? Some teens they goof off, have fun, drink party well to say the least thats not me. Not at all. ___________________________________________________________ I have a strong suspicion that my brother sells pot... and other asorted drugs. Well i hate him for it and i hate his friends. he used to beat me up but now he is more mellow but goddamn he pisses me off.
He has a friend name Sam; complete asshole, douch bag yeah... you name somethin bad well thats him. Well i hate him more than life it self... I blame him for Erics drug stuff... well ya I do and there are probally more reasons and shit but its easy to blame him for it... and i do. i wont go further a bout sam yet but there is more reason i hate him so dont think thats the only one.
___________________________________________________________ So i talked bout Eric so now i will talk about Micheal the second oldest... He to say the least has a temper. You get him started he might just kill ya.... now i was just joking but if he gets pissed off he will break something might not be a bone or any thing but he tries to control it so he storms off some where.... and sometimes puts a hole in some wall or something. He has been a whole lot better since he got his girl friend Beth... shes cool nothin to say bout her.mike is the one i get physically hurt the most by. But once again his girl friend has virtually stopped that. ___________________________________________________________ I am behind mike and i have already introduced my self so .... heres the next brother and the youngest.
___________________________________________________________ Corey. well he is an alright cat.But he does get on my nerves a lot more than any one i know. (( I mean just by annoying me)) What annoys me is that he has it the easiest of the four of us. I mean seriously he learns from all of our mistakes he learns from all of us in generally even the bad stuff ... he gets away w/ cursing at a lot earlier age than i did...((no not in front of my mom or dad just in general)) and my god he spends half the day on the computer... well no not half the day half the night.... like at least 6 hours per turn.... and we get 1 hour.
yeah i know. And My older brothers beat me up growing up .... cause we got in fights just the way it is no complaints but corey he whines and growns that hes the youngest and thats why people hurt him.... NO no one even touches the kid. Plus if i even try to fight him like a gaurdian angel Mike shows up and beats me to a pulp... yeah ... i get no leaway in the family... of course at least my parents trust me more than any one else of us four but still it does not seem to be enough. 
