  how in one day did my countdown go from 10 days to seven? apparently, i can't count. why does time not work like subtraction? this is why i budget. over and over and over. because if time can fool me into thinking i have more time to endure than is true, doing my budget over and over should wish some more money into my bank account.
if math worked like time, it would. thanks to my grandpa who must have some kind of grandpa ESP, i'll be going to philadelphia with more than pocket lint and change. and i'll even get to buy a bed. a real bed. a bed that's bigger than a coffin and doesn't carry the nightly risk of falling into a concussion. a comfortable bed. the kind that doesn't fold into an uncomfortable couch. a bed whose sole purpose is to beg sleep out of me. i can't wait for a real bed. a big one where my dog and cat won't crowd me. it's all very exciting. and i remind myself again and again this is not about deserving anything. none of us get what we deserve on either side of the coin.
some of it is someone rewarding my hard work. some of it is good fortune. some of it is luck at being born into circumstance. my ducks are lining up nicely. my mother should be proud that i've acheived something. even if it's only a talent at begging. she's getting baptized again tomorrow. (technically today) she's fifty two years old. she's getting baptized in a pool. and it's an important day for her. she can't swim. i asked her if they were baptizing her in the deep end. is it wrong to want to bring my camera and hope to catch her baptized while wearing water wings? 
