  This is how it will begin: With nothing to say. In just about two weeks I will be leaving for Taiwan, to the city of Tainan where my family and I (along with our honorary family member and lifelong friend Rachel) will spend at least a year teaching English and eating rice at Mc Donalds. Now, some might say, "Isn't it a little strange, someone from Queens teaching people the finer points of the English language? " And indeed they are correct. I myself can recall a day back when I was in the sixth grade-- I was sitting at my desk while Ms. Banahan stood up at the chalkboard, furrowed brow, staring into her teacher's manual trying to explain a past participle to the class, and I staring at my desk thinking to myself, when in life am I ever going to need to know this??
Well, now I am studying my grammar book, trying to figure out what a pronoun is, but still not quite wishing I had paid attention in 6th grade. For you see, folks, it only goes to show: The only time I ever needed to know rules of conjugation has been when teaching it to others, thus keeping the vicious circle of useless knowledge alive. I myself, a Queens native, am perfectly adept at expressing myself with a few grunts, some hand gestures, and a nod or two.
But, if I give away that big secret, I'll be out of a job and a lot of old white men in bow ties will have my head. So, I suppose I did have something to say. I leave on the 17th of August, arrive at 9:30 in the evening the next day in Taipei's International Airport. Till then, my life is composed of packing, visa applications, absentee ballot forms, and trying not to grind my teeth too far down. 
