  So I'm battling anxiety apparently. I haven't officially been diagnosed with an anxiety condition, nor have I 100% concluded that is what is going on myself, but given the symptoms I have combined with my many doctor visits of late, and you get an overwhelming indication that this is all in my head. As I lay here imagining what is going on in my chest, my mind is subtly sending out chemicals and messages to my body that something bad is going to happen. Why? Because I subconciously want something bad to happen? Because I expect something bad to happen?
I want to live a long, healthy life. Why would my subconcious betray me like this and tell my body that something is horribly wrong when my doctor is assuring me that I am perfectly fine (minus some inflammed rib / breastbone cartilage)? All I know is that I want to get back to the way I felt two days before May 14th. That was when this all started. I would give up all of the gains I have made in becoming more outgoing if I could remove this near-constant feeling that something is going to happen to me.
I wish I could convey how great it is to be oblivious to some of the simple truths everyone will face at some point in their life. We will all die at some point, everyone realizes this but not many people think about it. As young adults we carry with us an almost invincible feeling. Up until about 3 months ago the worst thing that had happened to me was a broken foot. I never once considered that I might die.
Now I think about it almost daily. What kind of life is that to live? Constantly watching some invisible clock, calculating when I might go? It's not much of a life. I have to get my mental state back to a nice balance of invincibility as well as the new caution I have learned that tomorrow isn't guaranteed and your health is one thing you should always care about. 
