  Wow its only 3:20 in the afternoon so far and already I have already had quite a day. So. When I woke up I did my usual morning things and then I checked my email and dA account, which, contained a message from a "friend" of mine completely bitching about one of my posted photos of another friend. I know that critiquing is good... but I think that when I woke up so early in the morning to read a comment whose main point was that my work was shit.
Pure, shit. I would look up the exact quote as it was quite witty- but I dont feel like it. Anywho. So after I read that I felt like dousing myself with water and soap so I got into the shower. This was a mistake as everytime I take a shower, because I am not doing something that requires any extra thought dedication than putting on shoes, I have all the time in the world to think about whatever I choose to. This morning it was that comment and that person. And I realized shortly that it had put me in a very nihlistic mindset and by the time I wrapped the towel around my head I realized that everyone is exactly the same. *well see what you want to see, you should see it all, well take what you want from me, you deserve it all* (spontaneous Modest Mouse lyrics inbetween) So after I realized that everyone is the same I began to wonder who exactly I am. I am always troubled by this thought, because no one truely has the answer to it. Normally I am comforted by the thought of a question that has no true answer but this morning I was most certaintly not.
Thats when I began thinking 'shit where is andy.. where is andy...' I know where he's at--- up in the Cascades picking blueberries with his parentals but I needed him. :( So I talked to Michael and Scott instead about it, and I realized that my art is NOT shit and that it is something that I do to make myself happy and not to make other people happy.
Thank god for friends. So after that I decided that I really should eat something since for the past two weeks or so I hadnt eaten anything before four in the afternoon and that it had begun to be a nasty habit. So I had eggs and then I went outside to shovel apples that are falling in our orchard and then I washed the cars... My car had become this ugly shade of brown when in fact its a sort of champagne color... So I washed it and my mom's car and then returned inside. Ahhh.. It's really hot outside. My yard is this long, flat, sandy yard and I hate being in it. That must sound horrible. I hate being in my yard. But there really is no shade whatsoever and such.
We also keep bees so they're always floating around... thank god they're not the kind to sting, but still. Besides I got my new Rolling Stone. Lindsey Lohan is on the cover which in itself is somewhat of a masterpiece. I'm not gay or bisexual but I find her to be just this extremely hot girl. She's got curves galore which I always found better than the stick model type, and long red/brown hair, and large boobs like mine if I may say so. If I could have any body I wanted I would choose hers. That way I wouldnt have to lose the size of my boobs to match the frame. See, if you're a model (which i find nothing wrong with being) you just have to have smallish boobs... mom's calling.. I'll write more in a few... 
