  I knew this guy quite a long time already, about 7 years. Then, we became closed friends since 2 and half years ago. I dunno why i started to like him more than friend. Maybe because he is a nice guy and i found out that we can share many things. Even there much differences between us. I kept warning myself that i shouldn't love him.
We can't be more than friends. I knew that he only saw me as friend, not more than that. And i knew that i'm not the type of girl that he dreamed of. But the more i wanna forget this feeling, the more i can't loose him. That time, i realized that i really love him. Then one day i told him about my feeling.
He was quite surprised at that time. He said he didn't know what to say. One week after that, he asked me whether i wanted to be with him. That day was the greatest day in my life. The day that i expected couple of years finally become the truth. We started the days as couple.
He was a nice boyfriend even sometimes made me worried. After sometimes, he changed a bit. Sometimes i felt that he didn't care about me. I felt that he didn't love me. But i thought it was only my feeling. Then one day, he told me that we'd better become friends like before.
He said that he didn't love me. He has tried to love me but couldn't make it. He always sees me as his good friend, not more than that. I was really shocked when hearing that. I only could cry. He made up his mind already.
He was tired to lie to me and to himself. At first, he wanted to try to love me because i'm a nice girl. But until that time, he really couldn't do it. He felt guilty to leave me like this. But no other choice. He didn't want to hurt me any longer.
So, that's it. Our relationship ended like this. Actually i couldn't let him go. But i also can't force him to be with me. I also don't want him to be with me because he felt sorry for me. Until now i also can't forget about him.
I used to meet him almost everyday for 2 and half years. I really missed him. So, i decided to stay away from him... far far away. I really can't meet him now. It will keep me remind of him. If only i could release my mind and delete all the memories about him.
How can i smiling like before ? I need time to forget all the pain and the memories about him. But dunno until when... maybe months, years or even whole life time. If like that, maybe i can't see him anymore. I also miss him if i can't see him but i also don't have other choice. He still want us to be good friends like before, meet up, hang out together.
But i dunno when i can be like that again... 
