  Last night there must have been a block party a few streets down. I had heard the sounds of what sounded like a garage band rehearsing. But 15 minutes later they started to play actual songs so I figured they had been warming up. The band began to play around 9:30 until midnight. I think that they were playing mostly songs that they had written. While I was in the bathroom washing my face they began to play "Born to Be Wild". I realized that there was a good chance Logan was probably there. He was always talking about taking me to see these local bands.
I wondered if he was there with his girlfriend. Dancing to the fast songs, slow dancing with her to the slow songs. I had the strongest urge to put some clothes on and walk out the door to find where they were playing. A crazy fantasy kept sneaking to the front of my mind. I would find the street and a path would clear to where Logan was. I would see him, he would see me and I would be given my second chance and everything would be in it's place, granted that is if I didn't blow it.
We would dance all night long declaring our love for each other. But then I snapped back to reality, becoming cross with myself for wishing for such an unbelievable outcome that wouldn't even be taken seriously in a 90's Meg Ryan movie, to where I was in the bathroom, standing in the shower, leaning out the window trying to hear the music better. There was no way I would have the time to pull my appearance together and get down there. I would probably walk around looking for Logan and if I did see him I would most likely turn and walk in the opposite direction.
I remember the last time I saw him. It was at Meijers. He was walking out of the store to get all of the shopping carts. I saw him and was pretty sure he saw me. But being the bitch that I am I didn't even smile at him but focused on unloading the cans. Throughout the entire time in the store I was extremely intense and apparently it was very obvious according to my mom.
When we got to the fruit section, which is right by the doors, he walked in from pushing carts. He was with his friend and he was looking at me while talking to him. I'm sure he was telling him how immature and rude he thought I was, that or wondering why I wouldn't even acknowledge him. Either he would catch me looking at him or I would catch him looking at me. When I saw him my heart sped up, I got all shakey and my legs felt weird.
Needless to say, I made a complete ass out of my self. Everytime I'm around him I can't find the right things to say, or anything to say for that matter. I just can't seem to get my brain to function properly. It's pretty funny when I look back on situations like this and think of how worked up I got over it. I was supposed to go to the gym with my mom this morning but I want to stay home and workout until I've lost some of the weight I've gained over the last couple of weeks. I have this thing where I don't like anybody to see me workout and get sweaty when I'm not in the best shape I've been in.
My mom tells me that's why people go to the gym, to lose weight. I know that most people working out are on focused on their bodies but I just have this terrible self-concious thing going on. I'm going to workout in about half an hour, I really need to because I have not worked out for nearly five days and just been eating like there is a buffet in front of me. Well, this is it for now. I'm sure I'll be adding more later tonight. 
