  Is it worth it? That is the question that he asked. This man, Steve Vandegriff, he may have saved my life today. Not by pushing me out of the way of a speeding bus, nor by single handedly taking down a mad gunman with me in the crosshairs. He didn't save my life by stopping me from eating that sandwich in the back of my car. Rather, he saved my life by asking me that simple question.
Granted, he didn't ask it directly to me, but I was there. I was part of the audience he was speaking to, and he may as well been speaking to me alone. I was spellbound and amazed by the words this man was speaking. Is it worth it? Smoking, drugs, booze, sex. He was asking me if any of it was worth it.
I just don't know anymore. I've been feeling like crap lately, and there hasn't really been an explanation for it. Nothing in my physical habits, such as sleep or eating have really changed. So why then, has the sky above been left with so many clouds? Could it have been the lack of God? Could it have been?
So many words entered my head this weekend, but most of them left just as quickly. There is only a few key phrases that left the building with me today. "Is it worth it" is one of them. Another: "God hates religion". Another: "The church of the next generation may be so radically different from the structure we know today, that Christianity may be unrecognizable from what it is today". And yet another: "...maybe it's a relationship that you need to break off".
It wasn't just the speakers that affected me this weekend either. It was other youth attending the event. "I hate Christians, they're the fakest people I know". "This is what I mean, He's preaching about how much God loves me again". "It's so traditional, so structured, but and it's all they know". This is what I've concluded: We need to change the face of Christianity in a radical way.
We need to make it relevant to the next generation. Relevant in a way that it is unrecognizable from what it is today. We need to stop talking about Jesus, and start demonstrating about Jesus. Gandhi once said "I like your Christ. I hate your Christians, they are very much unlike your Christ". How true it is.
We, all, every single person who believes in Jesus Christ, we all need to commit ourselves in a radical and refreshing way. We need to stop talking the talk and start walking the walk. Christians have become so two faced, so corrupt, and so much like everyone else, that we have lost all power to the forces of evil. He have lost the attention of so many, and so many have been conquered by sin and Satan. We must sacrifice ourselves for the sake of these unfortunate. WE MUST CHANGE!
I know I've spoken these words before. You know the one's, about a renewed faith in Jesus Christ, about wanting to change, about changing the direction in my life. And every time, it's lasted about a week. Until the next party or the next time I jump in bed with someone. Well you know what? I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of chasing my tail and lying to myself. This time, this time I'm going to do my best. I'm going to try harder than I ever have before. Because honestly, IS IT WORTH IT??? ? 
