  Sigh. What am I doing? I really have no idea anymore. Friday night, I went out to Manhattan's with Alisa and some of her friends. I had a great time, but everytime I saw someone kissing, I just wanted Crystal there with me. I did dance though, and it wasn't that bad.
After seeing some of the other guys dance, I figured I couldn't do much worse than that. Last night, Crystal came out here with me after work. It was different. We had a talk...I'm not sure I can post the topic of the converstation here...but I've been thinking. Maybe she's right. Maybe she's not what I want. But she is what I want. I want a girl that likes to go out and have fun, I want a girl that knows how to have a good time.
Crystal used to do those things, and me, being the stupid kid I was, discouraged it. And now look, it's what I want, but we've both changed. We've almost switched positions. I used to love just staying at home with her, and she used to want to go out. Now, I want to go out, and she just seems to want to stay at home, although I know she really wants to get out and do something different.
Hopefully things will change when she turns 18. Then she can go out...Sigh. I really want things to work with her. The other day, when we were walking around the furniture store, talking about what furinture we would like in a house, I was happy, I really was. She is what I want, it's just buried inside of her... urlLink postCount('whatiwant'); 
