  Because I found one red hair on the night table beside my bed. Because I feel so torn. Because I hate the way you act towards me sometimes. Because I miss your cat. Because I miss shopping with you. Because I miss coming over work and drinking juice out of the big green glasses.
Because I miss your mom and dad, and they way you don't appreciate how much they care for you. Because I bought this shirt with you. Because you hate these fucking pants. Because your baby picture is on my wall. Because you changed me in ways you'll never know. Because every song I've heard lately has at least one line that reminds me of you.
Because I miss your dog. Because you understood Moulin Rouge. Because you loved to hide me away. Because I felt so free. Because of Heritage Park, and walking the dogs in the snow in Canmore. Because of Petland, with potato fishes.
Because of wishing wells. I threw a coin into a wishing well, and now I'd throw my whole billfold in if I thought it would help. Because of your drug use. Because of the way you'd walk on my back. Because of Elimidate and Jay Leno. Because of Easter holidays of last year.
Because I feel in love with you on a pullout couch in your basement. Because of your eyes. Because of the way I thought you'd always stay. Because of YC, because of burn french toast, because of tears on your shirt, because of punk shows and kiros and st tibs day and making pizza with Ryan and Kelsey. Because you were my first. Because of the trampoline, because of Mike.
Because of the way you smelled, because of all the gifts I bought you. Because of the letters you used to write, back in the day when you appreciated my mind and everything you meant to me. Because you don't care. Because there will be someone new, because this book is probably all lies. Because you never write. Because I never write.
Because I have no ambition, because you don't know what you want. All that I wanted was you, and a simple life. Now I don't know what I want. Because you were there for me when my grandpa died, even thought I showed no emotion. Because you wanted me to meet your family in Saskachewan. Because I never did.
Because you might think I'm a stalker now, because you hid me away from your friends. Because I wanted to fucking die almost every day. Because you kept me alive. Because you still leave me for them when you said to let you know. I JUST DON"T FUCKING KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THESE EMOTIONS. These are the reasons.
These are the reasons I loved you, and now these are the reasons that drug me. 
