  Today was a marvelous day. I knew it would be. I read a post a young woman posted on a site about her survivorship of some pretty horrific abuse and I felt compelled to write her an email. I found out she lived near me and we planned a get-together. And today we got together. It was amazing.
Proof that kindreds exist. I walked into her apartment as if I had walked in there twenty times before. I didn't feel one ounce of anxiety. We talked and talked and listened to Tori Amos and I marveled as she attended to her two young children - one four months old, the other 3 years old. What a completely and utterly healing day. I've known that I've needed to be around children lately.
I visit my best friend Lauren and the five year old boy she cares for in the park now and then. He has Cerebral Palsy (I think that's what he has) and is deaf, but he is such a little wonder. Lauren is so good with him; it's inspiring to watch her with him. He has the biggest brown eyes and when he smiles his whole face lights up. He's touched me deeply. My new friend's children touched me deeply, too.
The oldest was a little shy when I arrived, but soon he was calling me by my first name and telling me about his computer game. Their family dog came over to me - the most intuitive dog I have ever known. The little baby was a jewel, big eyes, smiling. I was amazed at how my new friend handled all of this. And to my standards, she is still so young (well, a year younger than me). But there we sat, she rocking the baby and feeding him, us talking about our pasts, good books, favorites of all kind.
I drank delicious tea and she gave me a Tibetan prayer flag to take home. I feel the word "ally" coming forth in my head. Kindred and friend, too, but ally. I wonder why that word, specifically. I know I'm in for a bumpy ride for a while. With the new school semester starting, and me teaching this god forsaken class that stresses me out so much, going off Risperdal (one of my many meds), starting with a new therapist, and knowing I have to start dealing with abuse stuff because the abuse stuff is dealing with me!
And not well right now. It's good to have allies. I'm thankful for friends who you just know ... you knew. You know? I feel a little lonely tonight. I wish I had time to go out to a fabric store and buy a "trigger blanket," as was suggested in the comments field.
Having a piece of material that I buy that calls out to me when I'm having a flashback seems soothing to me. I will combat this loneliness by going downstairs and putting the prayer flag up in my little alcove, my meditation space, me "me place" and then spend some time with Wonderful Boyfriend. I salute you, Sarah. And all my other kindreds I have in my life: Lauren, Barb, Tammy. Fin. 
