  Well another update today.....last night I spent the night in the emergency room with extreme chest pains and a hurting arm.....heart attack? No they found nothing to be physically wrong with me....good or bad? I say bad...my chest still hurts but its not the chest itself persay.
Heartache? Good possibility but who am I to say? Duaan spent the whole time with me and for that I am grateful.. She came thru for me again in a pinch and this is time #2. XXOOOXX Onto the subject at hand ....my depression...will it ever end? Should I seek counsel or meds? Duaan even mentioned her observation of me being depressed....and I agreed. I feel in a tight spiral downward into an abyss and that spiral is out of control.
I feel myself closing in on myself every day more and more. I scream for the inner turmoil to cease but those screams fall upon un hearing ears. I fight and I fight and now I am stressed. With the death of Stimp pushing me over the precipice and at work the lack of income coming in are both main contributors to my condition. I now have to go take a stress test with my regular doctor as a follow up....me stressed? BAH I thought I was a rock when it came to stress but I guess it piles up and then takes you out of the game till you get better. I plan and hope to pull out of my spiral soon and rejoin the world. All for now...thanks for reading 
