  . and there was something strangely refreshing about it.  I think that just like the green leafy things that grow around my house,  we all need a little water to fall on us and soak us sometimes.  Not that we'd die without it,  but then,
 those plants won't die either.  But just that it helps us to reach a higher plane of health,  some plateu from which we can stand and scream into the gray falling skys " I am alive!  I am alive!  I may be soaking wet,
 but I am alive!  before we realize the entire church is now staring at us.  A weird thing about rain is how much it changes things.  I mean,  its just a little bit of water,  right?
 We drink tons of water every day.  But once a tad bit of it starts falling on us,  people totally freak out.  They drive really slowly,  they run around screaming as they fail to locate their cars,  they fight over strange little sticks with canvas,
 and some of them even curse loudly as their attached furry headcovering are drenched through.  ( Something about messing up their style.  I fail to grasp it.  People who would normally be quite glad to lay on a hillside with me and chat the day away are now flabbergasted at the suggestion.  What's their problem,
 anyways?  We're 80%  water to begin with. how's a little more gonna hurt?  The most depressing thing about rain,  though (
well,  the only depressing thing about rain)  is that it covers up the stars.  My nightly glimpses into the black and starlit heavens has been a favorite time of mine to contemplate how truely insignificant that little peon is who decided to cut me off today and ended up almost causing a major accident.  After all,  what does it really matter if i jumped out of my speeding hunk of metal,
 holding another peice of metal alloy,  and began hitting both a large bit of metal and some carbon based object that was significantly softer than the large hunk of metal?  It really doesn't,  does it?  Its times like these when I can convince myself that perhaps those other bits of carbon carrying much smaller peices of metal will agree with me and decided not to use their peices of metal to embed even smaller peices of metal into my carbon.  I find this view extremely relaxing.
 But without the stars,  its utterly impossible to obtain.  I did decide on the rules to my new sport,  though.  Its called " Shirt Basketball"
 Dunks ( anything involving contact between either of your hands/ digits and any part of the target)  are worth one point.  This includes shots where you pull the shirt away from the target's body in order to make the shot possible.  Free Throws,
 shots where the target intentionally invites a shot after stopping and pulling their own shirt forward to enable the shot to be made,  are also worth one point,  unless they are made from four point distance,  in which case it is worth three.  Here's where things get tricky.  Because of the wide variety of shirts worn by various targets,
 and differing amounts of room between said shirt and the target ( caused by non- standard shirt types,  larger- than- average amounts of cleavage,
 skintight verse baggy shirts,  etc.  the points differ based on both difficulty and distance.  Standard scoring works as such:  within five feet of the target is worth two points.  Outside of five feet is worth four.
 Mulitpliers are added based on the difficulty of the shot.  Contestants determine the value of each target ( and their attached shirt)  before competition begins.  Both must agree on the value before taking a shot.  In the event a shot is made before a value is agreed upon,
 an arbitrary third party is asked to set a fair value.  When lacking a third party,  the opponent is allowed to pick a fair value.  The maximum multiplier for normal circumstances is ten times the normal point value,  with the rare exception of a shot being made on a target wearing only a bra ( or appropriate equivelent)
 which garners a twentyfive times bonus,  and a shot made on a completely bare target,  which garners a hunderd times bonus along with a wack across the back of the head for being dumb enough to waste such a valuable opportunity.  Additional multipliers are added based on circumstances,  such as backwards,  no look (
eyes shut)  hook shots,  off hand shots,  using an unusual object ( such as a computer monitor)  using a difficult object (
something that doesn't easily fit,  also like a computer monitor or even something simpler like a basketball)  using an awkward object ( ice that the target cannot easily retreive)  cauing the target to remove clothing to fetch the object,  and evoking a positive reaction from the target (
such as an invitation to retireve the object yourself)  Points are lost for injuring the object,  evoking a negative reaction ( such as a bitch slap or forced removal from a house or resteraunt)  or shooting on a target in a dangerous situation ( such as the driver of a vehicle)
 It is also not reccomended to shoot on targets with which one is not familiar,  or which one is not signifantly faster than.  I predict Shirt Basketball will make it to the Olympics by 2020.  Only you,  my valiant readers can help make this dream a reality.  Go forth and throw things down shirts,
 men!  Do it for justice,  for honor,  and for the American Dream:  to earn money without doing any real work!
