  Following Agar's example, I decided to write a biography of your average dole bludger... 10:04 am - Wake up to smell of burning - realise I left last night's pizza in the oven. bugger. 10:17 am - Decide to fall out of bed. Find flanno under bed...hey, how long's that been here? To be continued... Continuing on: 10:32 am - Breakfast man!
Stumble into kitchen, trip over boots in the door - since when's there been a door there? 10:33 am - Scrabblin' round desperately in the cupboard - hey, whatta ya know...Coco Pops! And they're only a few days out of date! Maaaaaad. 10:34 am - tip remains of stale Coco Pops (and some kid's trading card) into the bowl. Throw in a beer to give texture.
No spoon - no problem! All I gotta do is tie my mullet back from my face and pour down throat. Done. Buuuurp. Mmmm... 10:39 am - add bowl to pile. I think I have a girlfriend hidden somewhere 'round - or did she nick off?
Ah well. If all else fails, just like the bowls clean and it'll be fine for dinner. 10:46 am - Centrelink time...whoo-hoo! Trip over old TV on porch - hey, I keep it there to trip burglars up ever since the door was stolen - it'll at least slow 'em down before they get in the house and (horrified thought)...steal my frozen pizza! No wait...it's not frozen any more, it's burnt. Mmmm.... 11:27 am - searchin' for car in the backyard.
Where'd I leave it? Oh, yeah, that's right, it's over there - with the tarp coverin' the hole in the roof. Ain't a tarpaulin an amazing thing? And she's still got petrol! Or maybe that's kerosene. Or water.
I dunno. Could be paint in the tank. Smells kinda like that party last week. To be continued... 
