  I became so with drawn this weekend and felt my emotions inspire a jog of a different sort. I gathered my thought and hit the road. I ran with my might only to realise that I couldn't escape the emotions that were rising in me. I stopped to catch breath and found myself trying to catch my emotions.
I felt them running without me. I fell to the ground on my knees and cryed my heart out. I felt so sympathetic to me. For a moment I was looking down on me and this little girl, this beautiful girl who's sees herself thru the eyes of the world could never melt into societies view of normality. Everyday I mourne for the children I could've had. I cryed for 10 minutes. Have I really lost me, my mind.
A grown woman crying - sobbing. I wanted his love right then and there. Yet I travel this dessolate rosd day in and day out. Only to discover that this is where I'm supposed to be. I'm in fear of these emotions. I want to gaze in his eyes in the hope that he would let me in on lifes secrets and clues to finding me. I want him to be my all. Yet my past hurts remind me that - it can't be done. My virginity is his but he doesn't know the extent of my emotions.
It scares me how much I've made him my no.1 thought, I think about him twice - Dusk till dawn. My childhood hurts can never be taken away, not by him, not by his love and certainly not by my wants and belief. I seal this one with depression and push it out to sea......... 
