  Listening to: Stevie by Yesterdays New Quintet I had a dream about Mama the other night. She was bedridden; her body wasnt whole. She was sickly looking, wasting away, her head covered with peach fuzz that couldnt grow back any thicker. She looked very much the way she did in the last few weeks she was still alive, but in my dream she was just a torso and head, no arms or legs. In my dream she said to me, Kiss ko , anak ko  (Kiss me, my child). Before Mama went unconscious [her body took weeks to shut down, little by little], she said to me, Kiss ko , baby ko  whenever she was aware that I was by her side. Whenever I sat by her, she told me she loved me and I told her I loved herI never left her without saying it because I was always afraid it would be the last time for me to say it to her or to hear it from her. The day after Mama went into her coma, Daddy called me, crying, telling me to go to Bakersfield.
He said the night before Mama's condition got even worse (to the point where she was just barely holding on), he and my Auntie Thelma were praying with her and she said something, but he couldn't make it out. He said after she repeated it a couple of times, he realized she was calling for me. I drove for four hours to be by Mama's side, early the next morning; the second I walked through the door and went to her, she focused her eyes on me for a bit.
Then they rolled back into her head; I slept on the floor next to her that night. The following evening she passed away. Sigh. A couple days ago I also dreamed about my boss. Her father passed away from cancer also; he died about a week ago. My friend Ks father also passed away from cancer a couple of months ago. K didnt know my mom passed away til last week, when we talked a little bit about our experiences. Mel mentioned to me that a new Hyphen staffer on the edit team's mom was recently diagnosed with breast cancer (my mom had breast cancer).
Crazy. Ive been toying around with putting together a fundraiser. I know I want to have a big joint birthday party with Adrienne in September, so maybe that could be it? Charge like $5 at the door and donate all the proceeds to the American Cancer Society in my moms memory. Well see. Anyhow. Sorry to go on about cancer and death so early in the morning. Hmmm This morning is the exception, but generally I have this routine of watching the news as I get ready.
I watch local news on Channel 3 and NBCs Today Show. Yes, I loves me some Matt Lauer. Um, is it bad that I find Scott Peterson to be attractive? I mean he's got that tall, dark, handsome, brooding thing going on. But then again, that whole dark/brooding thing could just be my own personal bias from all the trial coverage Ive seen. Really, though, hes a good-looking man. Once I glossed over the cover of a tabloid paper while at the grocery store and the picture of him made me do a double take. From the angle, I thought he looked like my old USSC (Ultimate Super Secret Crush). They look similar, but my USSCs face isnt so angular and his eyes are more Asian looking (my [old] USSC is hapa/ mestizo /half Asian).
And how about the hot 23-year old teacher who had sex with one of her students? So Mary Kay Letorneau. Sounds like the average adolescent males fantasy to me, no? I thought about itand go ahead and think Im screwed upbut if Mr. Rapp (my 8th grade history teacher) or Mr. Davis (my 12th grade AP History teacher) wanted to seduce me when I was younger HOLLA! But its not like at 13 or 16 I wouldve really known what was going on. Like, Why is your thing all big and sticking straight out?
It looks funny... You wanna put it in my what? WHAT!? Ay naku . For real. Yikes. Aiight, I gotta get back to Hatty about this e-flyer design for the Hyphen event. And search for these last 11 publications on Bacon's for a big media mailing on Tuesday. My work is never done. Have a happy holiday weekend. Drive safe, eat lots of barbecue, dont use illegal fireworks and blow your hand off, and all that good stuff. Im spending time with my dad and my crazy aunties (my dads younger sisters) in Milpitas, so you know its ON with the Filipino food! NUMMIES for me! 
