  previously, calls to poison control have been due to me being slightly retarded. this includes all of the times where i have mindlessly placed poisonous objects into my mouth or writing utensils that had previously taken bathes in poisonous chemicals... as well as the time i had decided to wash my windows with a small bottle of windex, but instead of making sure the spray bottle was pointing towards the window, i sprayed windex directly into my eyes (a burn worthy of hell) and my mouth. i mentally file these events into my "i'm a klutz" category, which also involves the current war of me versus doorways and walls.
this month the walls are winning, as they've taken a bite out of my shirt, temporarily captured me by my hair, and caused more bruises than i'm willing to admit. this most recent call to poison control was due to a plant, (and not the tasty tasty mojitos, robyn) my beloved pencil cactus. (for a sense of scale, the pot is larger than my two hands put together. ) it is a very strange looking plant originally given to my family (i have just a small cutting from a pencil cactus tree larger than me) by a strange old german woman who liked smuggling plants from other countries. its pencil thin "branches" grow in every direction in an almost gravity defying way, and it is completely without needles. (never make fun of cacti with needles, by the way. ) and for the most part is it a really happy low-maintaince plant. except i learnt the hard way that it is poisonous. i had decided that it was time to switch my plants around on my plant stand, and it was time for this pencil cactus to move to a new location.
although the plant looks rather flat in the picture (it is hard to capture its looming evilness and strangeness with my digi camera), the branches reach out all over the place.. thus making it difficult to hoist the plant up without branches poking me. in the few seconds i carried the plant from one point in my room, to another... a few branches poked into my mouth and caused the mouth burn of the century.
i'm talking about a burn where i could no longer tell if there was any spot in my mouth not burning. i possibly should've taken photographs of my taste buds as they were freaking out, and vibrating with burn. and it didn't help much when the web tells me that i might start hallucinating, i might stop breathing, and i could possibly die... all due to a plant i've had for years. this is where i'd like to thank poison control. they are one of the few places left where if you call you're not automatically put on hold but instead you're talking to a calm individual with helpful advice.
i seriously love poison control, especially that such a thing exists. in the end, my mouth burned for awhile and nothing else happened. and i went off to do other things. only slightly afraid that my taste buds had burnt off when a cafe gave me unsweetened lemonade. 
