I've been listening to this song obsessively for the past week. It's old, but I rediscovered it when I was in Costa Rica with only my dinky CD player and all my old CD's (my cd collection has been spoiled by the advent of mp3s). OBSESSION by Delirious? What can I do with my obsession With the things I cannot
see Is there madness in my being Is it wind that blows the trees Sometimes you're further than the moon Sometimes you're closer than my skin And you surround me like a winter fog You've come and burned me with a kiss And my heart burns for you And my heart burns And I'm so filthy with my sin I carry pride like a disease You know I'm stubborn God and I'm longing to be close You burn me deeper than I know I feel lonely without hope I feel desperate without vision You wrap around me like a winter coat You come and free me like a bird And my heart burns for you And my heart burns for
you There's something about the intensity of this song that grabs me and makes me look at myself honestly. I love the acoustics too; that one simple guitar refrain just carries me away. I would listen to this song when I was on the beach, under the shade of a palm tree, looking at the ocean, and I would experience a powerful, acute longing for God. It's interesting how morbid I can be at times; sometimes I just wish that God would snatch me up in His arms and take me away in a chariot of fire like He did with Elijah. In such moments, I feel as if I could leave everything that I've stored up in this life,
because it's just so lucid how much greater, immeasurably greater, it would be to be WITH HIM. It also strikes me that this desire to leave the liminal world seems to surface most saliently when I am full of satisfaction and joy. I don't think that I have ever been happier in my entire life. I love my friends and family. I love living in Korea and traveling as much as I can. I love teaching at Handong, and I love what I am studying. I love being in love like I've never been in love before with someone who completely blows me away. But I am a pure hedonist, in the sense of Piper, and all of this only
whets my appetite. If all that is good in my life is merely a taste of heaven, then by all means, give me heaven Lord! But Paul made that profound statement in his letter to the Philippians, that to die is gain, but to live is Christ . I think that I've gotten to a point in my life where I deeply understand the concept that to die is gain . Looking back at my journal for the past couple of years, my longing for heaven has been a persistent,
throbbing theme, constantly hovering around my soul. But to understand that to live is Christ -- that's the secret to the abundant life, and I feel like I've only scratched the surface of its significance. Strangely enough, it is in witnessing and experiencing suffering that Christ's life in me seems to become clearer. With time will come maturity in this respect, I'm sure. Lord, to die is easy, but what does it mean to live ?
