  Great prayer meeting today. Not many people came after all, but that's ok. It was still enlightening as to what is going on in NK and how I can pray. New idea: start a NK prayer group next semester. Surprisingly enough, I don't know of any groups praying for NK at Handong.
But I am realizing that, in general, the Korean-American community seems much more aware of what is going on in NK than the South Korean community. There could be several theories as to why this is so, but my suspicion is that a part of it has to do with SK's old Sunshine Policy. It has trivialized the issue to one of "peaceful" (passive) relations=eventual unification. It's a paradox, really. In the name of "One Korea," depictions of NK seem to have been uniformly softened to accomodate feelings of friendliness. I have noticed that discussion of NK's human rights atrocities is oddly absent in SK media. Rather than actually leading to reunification, years of this policy's inculcation on SK society has resulted in general apathy toward any form of real action. If you ask most university students about reunification, they will answer that SK is not ready for it!
This is a generation of young people who did not experience the war, who have never met any NKans. For them, all they see within purview of reunification is the certainty of economic decline and political instability. They'd much rather be passionate in their anti-Americanism; the patriotic call for "One Korea" is more often than not a veiled epithet against American intervention than it is an outcry against the injustices of the North Korean administration.
It is a sad state of affairs. Anyways, as I was praying today, I noticed something different about myself. I am at a special place in my life right now where, if God called me to go to NK, it wouldn't be difficult for me to say yes. That struck me as surprising for some reason. I found myself sincerely praying, "Is that where you want me to go, Lord? I'll go. " I know that I have quite a few years ahead of me, since I have to finish grad school first, but I hope that I don't lose this flexibility--this willingness-- in that time period. It's one of my GREATEST fears about grad school...that somewhere along the way I'll forget, or outright reject, the reason I wanted to get the degree in the first place. Part of it has to do with being single, I know. It would be different if I were dating because then I'd have to consider his experiences, his gifts, his options, his inclinations. I remember how hard it was for me to make any decisions when I was dating in college, because I was so darn serious about a guy whose life ambitions ultimately ended up being too different from my own.
Despite my recent entries, I actually thoroughly enjoy being single. Sometimes I feel like I could live like this forever-- really. And then I get hit with a memory of what it was like to be loved, and to love someone deeply, and then I think, I could do that again. It'd be so beautiful. But, most of the time, I am just thankful that my singleness lends me so much mobility to travel and do everything I've always wanted to do.
And it focuses me, like today. It was just so clear: if God calls me to go, I'll go. That's it. What's there to consider? I am not saying that God called me to NK tonight. No, no, I really don't know that yet. But I am definitely interested enough to start researching ministry options and to start that prayer group next semester. One step at a time, and the important thing to nurture is this willingness. Willingness to go wherever. 
