  I LOVE being able to call in sick. now,  was I truly sick?  It all is a matter of perspective. honestly though,  it is that time of month.
and since I haven't had a time since early February,  I guess this one decided to be a doozy.  I am thankful for it though,  I was getting really worried about what my hormones were doing and dreading going to the endo in a couple weeks. I still think he will up my medications because I missed again but I feel a false sense of accomplishment since there was no induction of the visit. anyway,
 I got up this morning and started getting ready and was overtaken by cramps.  The dog ate my bed buddy a month ago,  so I have no source of heat to aid in the cramps. I took some Pamprin but it never kicked in. so,  finally,
 at 8,  I called my boss and told him I would not be showing up. oh,  rats!  I went back to bed and slept. woke up about 11am to hear hubby on the phone.
 one guess who it was. did you guess?  Yes,  the beloved mil. I went downstairs to see what B was doing ( watching cartoons)
 and went into the kitchen where hubby was. I wanted to find something hot to drink but we have no cafe latte. only coffee,  hot apple cider,  or hot chocolate. nothing sounded good.
so I sat there while hubby wrapped up the conversation with his mother. ugh.  he gets off the phone and just stares at me. well?  We didn't really have much of a conversation about it because I'm hunched over trying not to fall over from the cramps. anyway,
 the gist of what is said. she still claims she em> may or may not have made the comment about our financial situation. she has the utmost respect for me because I handled myself so well and was never disrespectful to her. my fil told J I chewed her ass based on her hideous reaction to our conversation ( her going postal while we were on the phone and then going to her room and sobbing after she hung up)
I took her off guard because she couldn't figure out who I had heard all of this from and that is why she wouldn't talk to me. she did not intend to send the message that I couldn't call her,  she now claims that she feels I was strictly calling because hubby was upset. uh- huh. she also is so distraught because she knows how much I must be hurt by everything that has gone on.
meanwhile,  she wants hubby to tell her what needs to be done to make it right with me. to which hubby says,  you need to talk about it with sar,  I can't be in the middle of this,  I support her and you need to make it right with her.
 I am still trying to figure out how I feel about all of this. on one hand,  yippee,  they realize that they hurt me and I feel like it has been a huge milestone to get them to see I am a real person with real feelings that can be and are hurt by them. on the other. are we in jr high?
 How can you not know how to make something right if you hurt another person?  To which hubby says they are really bad communicators. I'm pretty sure even the worst communicator knows how to say " I'm sorry" even B,  who is four,
 knows when he needs to give someone an apology.  I just find it really hard to believe that she is up there so concerned that I am down her having been hurt and she can't come up with a solution to try to make it better.  Meanwhile,  hubby's 30th is only three weeks away. he wants his family and my family invited over to celebrate.  I asked him today how he felt about just his brother and sil being invited.
 I don't mean to be a bitch. but how can I have these people in my house and celebrate with them when they can't extend any type of an apology. even if they don't apologize,  could they at least try to talk to me about what happened?  I told hubby I thought it was strange in a way that she had not thought about the long term ramifications of what has happened.  I.
E. I have her only grandson ( for at least a few months)  and does she expect me to invite them down,  go there for visits,  and allow B to go there without us when none of this has been resolved.
 To which I followed up,  but how is this any different than the past five years. I have put up with this woman's shit since hubby and I got married and that hasn't changed my behavior,  it has resolved me to work harder to be accepted. damn. maybe I am nuts.
 Anyway. I read the book " Holes"  today. it is a children's book my sis loaned me along with " Bridget Jones' Diary"
it was so good. I really like books that have twists or correlations in them. it was an easy read,  it took 2 1/ 2 hours to read. lol.
it makes me want to rent the movie that has been made but I always hate it when I end up watching the movie and not liking it. if they ruin the story it makes me mad. haha.
