  Okay, girly...I hope you read this! I had the right email address, but it says your box is too full! L~ I got to read your blog this morning...I don't know if this is your email or not! I'm hoping it is, otherwise, whoever is about to receive this will know I am psychotic...
Anyway...blog...no, I really don't think you are screwed up for leaving town and wanting to find yourself...I think that is awesome that you do that! Besides the crap I was running from, my psycho-ex, my eating disorder, mom and dad, Heritage freaks, etc...that was one of the reasons I left dodge. Although I didn't have the grand plan to find myself and figure some crazy shit out, I knew I was not going to survive going the way I was going.
And Scott and I had no idea what would happen between us. I knew that I loved him, but I also broke up with him for a while...I couldn't deal with everything I had to deal with and be concerned for him at the same time...selfish? Yeah, probably. But at the same time, I knew in order to ever find out what made me tick, I had to get rid of the static that was diverting my attention from the work. So, if you and Tony are "meant to be", I think you guys will come back together and be better for the time spent apart. This is the best time of your life to do this...once you get older and married and kids, you don't get to think about just you anymore. I think that this is part of what happened to mom when we were little. I think about what I went through by myself in Chicago...I don't think mom has ever had the liberty to do that. She dealt with taking care of her mom and then her mom dying...then I think pretty quickly after that she found out she was preggo and her and dad got married.
Where was the time for her to find out what makes her happy? Maybe that's why she was so angry all the time as we were growing up...she didn't have many choices in what she was doing...she went to a church that didn't condone any type of personal fulfillment ( I swear that looks wrong! ) and she was a slave in her home...she had four girls, a hubby who expected her to do just about everything in the house...I couldn't deal! SO, all that ramble to say...I hope that you find what you are looking for...I hope that you realize the beauty and potential that you posess. No person is going to complete you, you do that for yourself. Find what inspires you and grab on...choose to be happy, not tormented. I love you~Sar 
