  I'm getting better...it hasn't been quite as long:) I am supposed to be training someone but she got caught up so now I have some free time:) So much to discuss, so little time...
Okay...my bf thinks she might have lupus...I don't know if I believe her or not, how hideous is that? She has an appointment this Friday, so I hope she doesn't...we are supposed to be going to Vegas at some point...march or april...she wants to buy tickets and make all the reservations, but knows that if she is too sick she won't be able to go...my issue is $$$ I can't fork out cash for a trip that isn't going to happen.
So I have been trying to slow her down. Also, I am extremely late on my period...and I am hoping for the best but expecting the worse...I don't think I am but I know my hopes are already high that I am...so I will basically be devastated if my damn period starts. But, if I am, I don't know what that would do for the trip...I am at a higher risk of miscarriage and would need to consult with my ob before I did anything...plus, hubby may want us to save $$ so I would not have to work if I am...
Along that line...it is so hard not to have anyone to confide in about the possibility. I don't really have a friend that I could tell...well, one. But I don't want to tell someone, find out I'm not, and then have that person feeling sorry for me.
I just feel so isolated with this. No one understands how worried/deformed I feel. No one gets why hubby and I don't want to do anything but the natural way...I just look at b and think that I do not want him being all by himself. I know that our siblings will eventually have children but how old will b be at that point? And who is to say they would be close? oops...gotta go! 
