  talked to bf last night...still strange. She is talking about coming up here with her cousin this fall. I don't really know how I feel. It will be for just a weekend so I am not sure if I would even see her. She's coming to see family...I didn't know she even liked her family. I know she is tight with her gma but not sure beyond that.
Anyway...I had some time to think this morning, I was more coherent than normal. Thought about what I would say to her if I thought it would be received the right way...I have had plenty of friendships in the past that have sucked me dry. I am very beyond the point of "needing" friends. I don't bust my ass for my friends to turn around and have them dump on me. Occasional dumping, I'm cool with. I understand everyone has to vent to someone...and I feel honored if I am that person, however, dumping and personally attacking are two very different things. I don't do the personal attacks to make you feel better. It's about basic human respect...which took me a LONG time to think I deserved, and now that I KNOW I do...I don't deal with people who don't give it.
Now..why don't I actually say this. I want to believe that this was a freak occurence, but I don't know...it has happened twice. The other part of me thinks she does this because she feels bad about herself. WHich, isn't that why people always do it? So, yeah, basically it comes down to I am a hater of conflict, I'm scared...I have lost many friends and I am not ready to say adios to her. 
