  sad, lonely, depressed, etc, etc, etc...I lost a friend and have realized the old adage "you don't know what you have until it is gone" is painfully true here. Yes, I realize it was our choice but considering the alternatives we did not really feel that we had a choice.
I guess I should be consoled that he is in heaven happily running around but I'm really not...I miss him. I miss the way he followed my every footstep...I missed the way he would look at me with those innocent eyes...I miss the unconditional love...I miss the bond he and I had. curse houses, curse material posessions...who cares about those things when I don't have my friend to share it all with...never again... 
