  Sunday already.  The KSA banquet was held at a bar/ club area within the Ravens Stadium,  so we got to hang out in the stadium.  Personally,  hanging out in the stadium itself was the highlight of my evening,
 because I really wasn't in the mood for a banquet/ dance sort of thing.  I felt really bad and selfish that I wasn't,  because a lot of people I knew put much time and heart into it;  you all did a great job,  and I tip my hat and apologize for my party-
pooper attitude.  There was a lot going on in my mind.  grad school,  the end of my college years,  overdue hw assignments,  upcoming hw assignments,
 seeing all the freshman and pre- frosh there,  and seeing the scant number of people my year there ( only a couple)  also added to the glumness of the evening.  For a few moments of time that night,
 when I was either staring out the windows at the passing cars on the highway,  or enjoying the quiet,  grand solitude of the empty stadium,  I was able to escape and think about nothing.  The rest of the time,  it was hard for me to smile and enjoy things.
 making a fool out of myself at one point didn't help either.  Jenny Hwang had brought a mutual high school friend,  and introduced me to her.  In response,  I crinkled up my face really weirdly and I think they took it the wrong way,  because instantly they just turned off and away from me.
 I tried to ask what Jenny was doing next year,  but got curt responses,  and when I turned to go to my table,  there was no friendly acknowledgement upon their part.  Dangit.  The Jenny episode was another reminder that I have issues with dealing with my emotions.
 Will I ever learn?  When I left,  Vicky had left a message on the answering machine,  so I returned the call.  It was cool,  we caught up on things;
 she got into Fuller @  CA,  so she'll be going there for the next cuppa years.  After talking to my dad about grad school stuff,  I read Ecclesiastes and went to bed,  but I couldn't sleep.
 I borrowed Jimmy's guitar and played out what I was feeling -  melancholy,  sadness,  etc.  Church today was still under the shadow of those feelings.  aptly,
 the message today was about God,  the Lord of Peace,  and I think it's something I needed to hear,  but it's still lingering.  I guess I'll have to fight for the rest of this week.  Ok,
 it's time to study.  See you all later.
