  I went to the free urlLink Shane Barnard/Shane Everett concert tonight at College Ave. Two different opening acts also filled the night. They were all pretty good, passionate, intense about what they were doing: worshipping God and divulging their ministerial intent.
The whole night lit my mind abuzz with everything I've been mulling in my head the past few weeks. Seeing the talent there made me question the amount or lack of talent that I possess. What do I have to offer? What could I possibly do, if I can't even write a song, if I can't even assemble a cohesive work of art?
I racked my brain as Shane and Shane wailed out their harmonious odes to God. I racked my brain for the truth of my situation, thinking "God, oh my God, oh, my God, what am I doing? " **** "There are two colours in my head. What was that you tried to say? " - Everything In Its Right Place , Kid A album, Radiohead I have been telling everyone that I'm thinking about ending my run for a Ph.D. in biomedical engineering and ruminating about entering the music industry.
"Maybe I'll go into audio engineering or production," I say. God, I wish I wasn't so messed up. I wish there would be one colour, one flavor, one direction in my head instead of the chaotic jumble. I wish I could truly see the reality of the Gospel of God's love and live a truly changed life . Then I look into the mirror and see someone that is utterly lost. "God loves you," I hear.
What was that you tried to say? 
