  So here I am again in the Library of Science and Medicine, reading... a Michael Crichton book. Go ahead and laugh. Yeah, I should be reading a book on gait analysis or biomechanics, but instead I've chosen pop culture fiction. Hey, at least I'm reading instead of watching tv or going on the internet. I figured a book like this will get me back into "the zone," the mental state where I can read for hours and feel like it's only been a minute.
I used to be a genuinely joy-filled, excited person. These days, I'm constantly depressed, apathetic, and tired of the same things. Yet, I return to the same things like, in biblical imagery, a dog returning to its vomit. Don't be depressed by this entry!
I've not given up hope on life, nor on the future. It's just a phase that God's been using to teach me how to fight my feelings and depend Him for my strength in my willpower. I've never really had much willpower... and these times have shown how truly scant amounts that I have. But when I will develop it, I will have the confidence to say that it's God's, not mine... and truly give where the credit is due. "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known.
But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure. "  1 John 3:1-3, today's topic of personal study. I view this online journal as a personal essay column.
Albert, thanks for that little article you recently wrote in your blog about blog etiquette. I agree and I hope that this medium doesn't become one that replaces personal contact, but a medium that simply enhances our instant message/phone/real life conversations and interactions by giving topics to talk, think, and pray about. I pray as well that this will show that there's more to meets the eye in people that you know, and that these sort of things should be pushed to be communicated during conversation and interaction. 
