  There are those people that are comfortable with losing touch with people. They don't look back; instead, they are too busy dealing with what they're going through in life. There are those people that can't stand losing touch with people. They look back, and strain to keep the ties that they had formed with people. Sometimes their current struggles are put in the backburner, and sometimes new struggles are created because they are refusing to let go of their social connections. Since college has ended, I personally fit in the second category. I can't stand losing touch with people I've come to call brothers and sisters; it is almost a matter of life and death for me to keep the ties alive.
This is a good thing, and a bad thing. It is good because it keeps relationships alive, it strengthens ties, it maintains community. It is bad because it keeps me from focusing on building new relationship with those around me. It keeps me from adapting well to the new environments in which God has placed me. I can't let go of who God has led me to know. I also can't afford to live in the past. Where do I go from here? **** 'What do you do when the pains of life refuse to let you go? ' I pose this question because it is a question I have repeatedly asked myself, in one form or another.
I'm not really going through any painful experience right now, but this question comes to mind. When I experience great pain in the future, how do I keep it from disabling me? In the past, I have always succumbed to its piercing grip. I have been rendered useless because the pain keeps me from concentrating on tasks. Could the answer like in the Gospel that I have heard all of my life? Can it be found in something to which my heart can be so unresponsive?
I am starting to realize that though I believe myself to be in a relationship with God, my life isn't always reflecting it. I don't see myself being dynamically changed by the message of the Cross. The instant response would be to find fault in the message, but really, the fault is in me. I am too cowardly to truly face the facts it lays out, too scared to see the ugly truths of myself that it reveals. As a result, I miss my chance of being changed by the incredible Truth of God. It is my indifference and indecision that leaves me unchanged, not the Message.
We who think we are mature in Christ, who others consider as being mature in the faith.. are we really mature? As C.S. Lewis says, when we are going the wrong way, the most progressive thing to do is to retrace one's steps. To think that I've grown is folly, when I find my heart so cold and unresponsive to the message of the Gospel. Some thoughts, that's all. 
