  Greetings in the name of Jesus!  i dont want to put this into my words of correct perspective.  i said i'd be real here.  so here's my raw emotional complaining.  dont be stumbled or discouraged.  God redeems or corrects in His time (
iBboy81"  is me,  " Coservant"  is a protected identity)  iBboy81 (
1: 17: 25 AM)  so,  you know i give people rides up to chicago all the time?  iBboy81 (
1: 17: 33 AM)  well when i go,  during the school year iBboy81 ( 1:
17: 59 AM)  and sometimes it's random people iBboy81 ( 1: 18: 08 AM)
 but since it's CFC or friends of,  i'm okay iBboy81 ( 1: 18: 19 AM)  apparantly i cant do the same Coservant (
1: 19: 24 AM)  eh?  iBboy81 ( 1:
19: 25 AM)  she said i was random iBboy81 ( 1: 19: 37 AM)
 but i thought we served together Coservant ( 1: 19: 42 AM)  someone said she can't give u a ride cuz she doesn't know you iBboy81 ( 1:
19: 48 AM)  basically Coservant ( 1: 19: 53 AM)
 mm.  iBboy81 ( 1: 20: 51 AM)  i donno iBboy81 (
1: 21: 32 AM)  i know the general concerns,  but i dont see where that would apply.  iBboy81 (
1: 21: 49 AM)  and she talked to someone who knows me?  iBboy81 ( 1:
21: 54 AM)  and i still got a call about it iBboy81 ( 1: 22: 03 AM)
 i feel really salty Coservant ( 1: 22: 36 AM)  mm.  Coservant (
1: 22: 37 AM)  sorry gill Coservant ( 1: 22:
40 AM)  =  Coservant ( 1: 22: 45 AM)
 that's tough Coservant ( 1: 22: 54 AM)  i know .  u must feel pretty hurt and offfended .
 Coservant ( 1: 23: 24 AM)  but .  i don't know~
 Coservant ( 1: 23: 57 AM)  take it for what it is .  and just don't let it affect you too much,
 ok?  just keep trying to find a rid iBboy81 ( 1: 23: 59 AM)  i need an older brother to talk to Coservant (
1: 24: 13 AM)  some people .  just .  have a different standard of what they feel comfortable with iBboy81 (
1: 24: 16 AM)  sorry i always dump on you lately Coservant ( 1: 24:
20 AM)  and .  not that it's right .  but .  Coservant ( 1:
24: 43 AM)  nooo,  it's ok!  i really like that you share with me about things .  Coservant (
1: 24: 49 AM)  i'm jsut sorry i'm not helpful tho .  iBboy81 ( 1:
24: 58 AM)  whatever,  you are iBboy81 ( 1: 25:
13 AM)  just dont let it go to your head iBboy81 ( 1: 25: 14 AM)  hahah iBboy81 (
1: 25: 16 AM)  jp Coservant ( 1: 26:
25 AM)  hahah Coservant ( 1: 26: 29 AM)  alright alrighty =
P iBboy81 ( 1: 26: 38 AM)  i think i'm getting too liberal for cfc undergrad iBboy81 ( 1:
26: 51 AM)  i may have to move to career Coservant ( 1: 27: 03 AM)
 hahah iBboy81 ( 1: 28: 34 AM)  my issues have to do with my heart so much lately iBboy81 ( 1:
28: 52 AM)  i dont know if moving is the answer iBboy81 ( 1: 29: 01 AM)
 i mean,  it oesnt fix the real issue Coservant ( 1: 30: 16 AM)  yup Coservant (
1: 30: 34 AM)  we always wanna run away .  thinking it'll be better or easier somewhere else .  but it never really is Coservant (
1: 30: 45 AM)  cuz at the core it's really all about our heart iBboy81 ( 1: 31:
58 AM)  my initial response is,  why doesnt everything change for me?  iBboy81 ( 1: 32:
14 AM)  cuz i'm the center and that'll make me feel better iBboy81 ( 1: 32: 19 AM)  so selfish iBboy81 (
1: 32: 20 AM)  ; p iBboy81 ( 1:
32: 49 AM)  i need to go to God iBboy81 ( 1: 33: 29 AM)
 i have too many issues and doubts iBboy81 ( 1: 33: 38 AM)  i'll ttyl Coservant ( 1:
33: 48 AM)  ok~  Coservant ( 1: 33:
51 AM)  hang in there gill .  iBboy81 ( 1: 34: 02 AM)
 you too Coservant ( 1: 34: 12 AM)  be honest and real before God .  iBboy81 (
1: 34: 14 AM)  i'll pray for your job search Coservant ( 1: 34:
17 AM)  i'll be praying for you .  Coservant ( 1: 34: 18 AM)
 thanks Coservant ( 1: 34: 22 AM)  =  Coservant (
1: 34: 25 AM)  i'll ttyl iBboy81 ( 1: 34:
54 AM)  'nite Coservant iBboy81 ( 1: 35: 01 AM)  thank you for listening Coservant (
1: 35: 13 AM)  night.  let me know if you need anything .  or need any more help fiding a ride Coservant (
1: 35: 19 AM)  gnight.  bye Conversation ended at 6/ 12/
04 1: 35: 22 AM.  i'm such a sensitive little girl. i hate it.  grow up,
 be a man.  my heart hurts.  dont worry Random,  this was just the end cap of the night,  not the cake or even frosting.  you already said sorry,
 so that's all good for me.  God'll take care of the rest.  sometimes i feel so misunderstood and unloved.  no one even wants to take the time to get to know me.  what is there to know about me?  why do i think i should be loved?
 what am i worth?  the blood on the cross?  of course,  but it's not by my blood,  but the blood that covers me.  because of Him i will get through my hurt heart and persevere.
 ONLY by His grace and mercy,  Gill 
