  Things have been snowballing lately. And I am worried that massive chaos will ensue in the months to come. I have finally decided to heck with the fear of living off of Ramen Noodles, which I despise, I am moving out. I plan to do so by March at the latest. The earliest will be January 1. I am a little nervous about this big jump from comfortable living to not knowing if I will be able to pay all my bills every month. I am also nervous because Robert, who I love dearly, will be my roommate and he makes less money than I make.
I dont really want to pay more rent than him however for me to move out on my own I would still be in a tight situation. But by the end of January I think I will no longer be living at home. Dont get me wrong living at home has not been bad. I have had a lot of benefits. But ones that will not change if I no longer live at home will be the open invitation to come home to visit and sometimes eat a meal will still be there.
Personally my biggest worry is money. The rest I think I am fully ready for. This class will be over soon; I have been struggling with a full time job and trying to pass this class, but not just pass, understand the subject mater. This is not a joking/laughing matter. Lives depend on how well I comprehend these things I am supposed to be learning. Obviously experience will have the biggest role on how I maintain the information in the years to come. I also really want to buy a lot of people gifts this year for Christmas, but realize that I dont have the money and if I am moving out in January I do not want to accrue too much debt by buying too much.
So I am trying to budget myself. And for once I have developed a list for my family. Robert will be heading down to Staunton with me for the Pace family Christmas this year. And I have been invited to his house for Thanksgiving. At this point though I am not too happy with his family and feel like they have been putting up this fae of liking me but in actuality dont.
There words dont match their actions. So I ask myself why would I want to subject myself to their presence? Which is sad because I truly like(d) them. I was voted into the AVFRD at the beginning of the month as a full time member. I had some very interesting ER rotations and have been truly enjoying this new life I am building. With Robert in it I have been nothing but the happiest that I have ever been in my life. Busy and in Love.
What more could I ask for in life? I had really been hoping to like and be liked by his family but this puts one of the biggest wedges in that I didnt expect nor desire. So life is good, but my nerves are getting stretched to the breaking point. Because I think for the first time since I graduated college I have finally started to lead a real life in the real world. So the next step albeit the scariest will be the most necessary and hopefully the most rewarding. 
