  I am feeling nostalgic.. And when I do that.. its seems to bring nothing more than pain and longing for the past. Longing is such an evil thing.. because you want what you can not have. I can not have what I want. Although, when I have what I want.. it is not quite up to par. Why can't I just be happy? Why can't things be the way they used to be?
Why do I fall into this constant cycle? Is it chemically induced? Why am I always asking questions!??! AAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH! Frustrated with the madness of it all.. But why should I be? I have love in my heart and in life.. so why should I be down? I need to forget.. forget. I thought I was forgetting but I was just lying to myself.. I think maybe it will take longer than I thought to get over this hurt that has happened.
I can however distract myself, although, I feel bad for not giving my entire 100%. It is not that I do not want to.. its that I simply can not bounce back so quickly. I suppose this is to be said for SOMETHING.. I love deeply and it is not something to be dealt with lightly. Feel it.. Its the wave of melodic wave coursing through my body.. influencing my way of motion. I feel it.. lifting me up. Higher.. higher... feel .. heal. mMmm it's Paul van Dyk I speak of. Can you hear? 
