  I'm going through a phase of major tension. This is the case. It's all my fault. I admit it. I've always been a major stress case. I wish I knew why.
I've got some major issues. First off, I want people to not be selfish. This is just a dream though of course. I don't consider myself too selfish. I'd say I'm pretty considerate towards other people. For being in the circumstances that I'm in and all, I'm not such a prick.
I am positive most of the time and keep an optimistic perspective. But, I been stressed the fuck out. I feel like seeing something explode. It could be anything. Even if it was an old grandma just crossing the street with a walker. If she exploded and spontaneously combusted right before my very eyes and burst into flames and a mushroom cloud of smoke, I would feel better.
Is it the sadomasochistic psycho in me? Do I enjoy pleasure from other people's suffering? No. I don't. I actually am very empathetic towards others and I consider this my downfall a lot of times. I just have this desire to see something explode.
I should go to the shooting range and let off a hundred rounds. I would if I could. That's the quote of the decade. The 2000 decade quote of Doug Yim. I can't so I won't. That's my 2010 premonition I guess you can say.
Pessimistic? Nah, realistic. Fuck this planet. The only thing that exists here is a bunch of animals acting like robots. Mechanical systematic creatures of destruction. I'm sick of science and theoretical rhetorical yaddy yaddy.
It's down with the grimey but it's all just conceptual. What the fuck is this shit? You have technology which is supposed to bring humanity together via improving communication. But, the fact is. People don't know how to fuckin communicate. And it ain't the computer's fault.
It's all the pride and egotistical mistrust and assumptions that are made. Conclusions are jumped on by grown folks like a fuckin bratty ass kid on a trampoline and communication is all fucked up because we're all just ethnocentrical know-it-alls without any consideration for what anyone else thinks. This isn't the case for me. I am good to compromise. With people. I don't compromise my livelihood or integrity.
I wouldn't sell my soul to the devil. This is the problem I face daily. Nobody is willing to compromise. This is what the U S of muthafuckin A is all about though. You don't have to compromise shit in the USA. You could be a woman with a penis implant that's had a sex change to become a woman again with lasic eye surgery and fake ovaries.
And you can get away with it in the US. You could worship a leather shoe and go to the mall every weekend to reinforce your belief that that leather shoe is the greatest of all leather shoes that has ever existed and you know what? You're okay. Nothing's wrong with you. You can fill up your bathtub with vegetable oil and peanut butter and call this the next healthiest thing to do and chances are you're right. I'll compromise within certain limitations, just like everyone else.
There's certain things I won't compromise. But, overall, I am open to compromise because shit is dynamic. Static, stationary, monotonous routines have confined me in the past. The moldy ass mold. The cycle is just cycling and turning like a hamster wheel. And where am I headed to?
I want to go to outer space and live off of freeze dried space pizza and recycled water from my own piss. With some alien space bitches with three or four titties. Drrrreaaming... 
