  Finally... I had the chance to update my blog and POOF! it got erased. It's more like I clicked on the wrong button and closed the window without saving it first! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....There goes..and I've been typing for 20-30 mins already! I hate it when these things happen, but I wonder how come it keeps on happening even after I told myself I'll be more careful next time.
As I was saying in my blog that had just evaporated (sob...sob...)...er..I can't remember...whaaaaa... Lemme see...hmmm...I can remember my second para though. I was saying how much of a procrastinator I am so much so that my life is so messed up right now (that's the way I see it), although I can't exactly put a finger on what is so messed up about it. All I know is that this is not the way I wanted my life to be in terms of career and everything. So, I just felt like I'm so messed up coz I don't know where to start to change my fate. *sigh* Back to procrastinating, I'm planning to take the Licensure Examination for Teaching (LET) this August and yet...I still haven't applied for the said exam. And worst, I don't even have my grades yet!
Actually, I haven't applied yet although I tred to apply yesterday for my transcript. The school asked me to sign my clearance first blah blah blah and when I got to the registrar they told me my grades has not been submitted to them yet. Bull****! The deadline for the application for the LET will be in May 31, 2003 and it seems like it's still far away, but somebody told me that they sometimes close the application earlier, even in April! Heaven forbid or else I'll be very lost...lost...lost... Another sign that I'm a procrastinator is that I'm planning to take the LET for Social Studies, which is not my major since I'm an Economics major! So, how am I going to pass that??
By reading or "browsing" social studies topics or books like political science, Asian history, Philippine History, etc. Time is running and yet I haven't even started reading some of those books! I started reading a few pages of PolSci but I got sleepy after a few pages...zzzzzzz...It's pretty interesting except that I was in a public place during that time and I only started reading coz I got so bored waiting. Gosh! I wonder when I'm finally going to get the momentum to study. I'm the kind of person who relies on "momentum".
hehe! Okey, I guess that's one way of just trying to delay doing the task that should be done. I have to get my act together or else I'll be stuck being someone else's slave! Whaaaaaaaa...... I still have so much to say and I hope I'll still have more time in my hands to write it all down. My boss went somewhere so I'm free...bwahahaha...=).
Anyways, I've been quite irritable these past few days and you know what that means...lots of fight with Janu.=) I'm still trying to decide whether he's the cause of my irritation or he's just the victim. All I know is that he just have this talent of knowing how to sting a person. He told me once he likes this Simon guy in "American Idol", well I'm not surprised. If you knew my Janu, you would think they're twins. We were fighting about his not having time for me and all and he said "ya, I don't have time for u. so what. are we married?
i knew them (friends and family) before I was born. i knew them before I met u..blah blah..and it really stung. I kept thinking about it and sometimes burst into tears on my way home. What a scathing remark! Then I had a talk with him again about why he doesn't call me blah blah. I guess I'm also getting into his nerves coz of my nagging..hehe...which is I think only fair.
He told me I put too much pressure on him. I asked him if he wants to work things out or just break up. He said I don't know. That's what he always say. The other day I told him that maybe Im just not the right girl for him coz I'll always be like this (meaning a nag..hehe) and he said I'm the right one coz I have everything. So, how come he doesn't keep his act together.
OK, maybe I don't understand him at all. Anyways, I guess he doesn't want to break up. Whatever. It's so hard to tell with guys. They make me go crazy. *sigh* My other best friend, Che, left for Ireland last Sunday and I so so so envy her.
I got kinda depressed couple of days after that coz I just felt like how come everything good is happening to everybody while I'm stuck here in wherever I am. Is it just a matter of not counting my blessing? I don't know. All I know is that I wanna go somewhere and not be stuck here forever and I don't see that happening soon! =(( My friend, Mel, and I used to have this plan to go and travel somewhere but we're not in good terms anymore now. We had a fight (actually, a series of fights coz we're always fighting!
) and we've never spoken again for several weeks now. I don't care coz I just hate being lied to and she does that all the time, even after giving her 100x chances! So, there goes...I just hope it will not let me be disappointed with humanity. One more thing, something really made me happy coz someone has put a tag on my shout box. I didn't know someone actually "glance" (coz I don't know if Kib actually read it.lol) at my blog coz it's really boring. I'm only interested in it coz it's my way of knowing my mistakes and promises to myself.
It does help to have a documentary of what you've done in your life so far. ;) Thanks for the compliment too. :D 
