  i might have majorly worried a few people last night. i don't know what possesed me but i lost it, it's almost funny now, still kinda stings but good to know that i'm still breakable. i really don't know why i had such a bad night because essentially, it was a pretty good day. there was a lot more of tears after that post but they were tears i needed to get out..it felt like there was so much pressure bottled up or soemthing. in any case, things are...i don't know, strange right now, trying to find my balance, will get there eventually i suppose. in another realm completely though and almost uncharacteristic of me, i went in for alternative theraphy today.
the method of torture? acupuncture. it was...interesting. i generally don't like needles but then someone suggested that it might help and so we went in and got it done. i freaked out for a good half an hour before anything really happened but i was still piss terrified none the less. nothing like watching needles stuck down you and connecting volts to it.
i still believe it's all in the mind, but oh well, if it makes me parents happy. i didn't really feel like doing anything today. to be honest, i wanted to just get away from everything. i think i got burnt out from so much activity and thinking in the last few weeks that i might have tired myself out physically too. and you know that when you're tired just about everything else is wrong too. but then sakthi and archana came over.
i forgot i made plans last week so we just went and got dinner. it was nice to be with them. it's nice to be with old friends you know? people that have known you for what seems to be like your whole entire life. when i'm with them i almost feel unjudged, it's just a nice comfortable feeling. it's almost strange how possibly that might have been what i really needed tonight.
just us girls against the world. just us, just me, and i can be sad if i want to or i can be bitchy or just cranky and i know it will be alright. they almost numb the pain if even for a just a bit. we're going to watch hooverstan(? ) next week at hard rock. i don't even know the bands name but apparently they're good.
and even if they're not we have to get arch a single hot chick with mind blowingly amazing positions. possibly even an orgy too. i'm just going to shut up and smile, me opening my mouth has caused me quite a bit of trouble the last few days. right now, david is trying to convince me to go to hk for the weekend. in all honesty, it doesn't seem like such a bad idea but then i don't really want to do that either. running away merely just multiplies the confusion and mess.
that much i've learnt. so how to get to the root and fix it? beats the shit out of me. urlLink "She wanted him. Badly. She turned and walked away.
Her mind knew it was not the right time. He was not the right person. Some day her body would win over her mind, but not today. " "you cry on the inside and hurt so very terribly that your heart feels like it's about to explode"- al HAVE YOU EVER------------------ * Ever been so drunk you blacked out: probably but not that i can remember..i generally don't exceed the i'm going puke for the next four days stage...i think. * Missed school B/coz it was raining: missed school just for the heck of it, period. anything and every excuse comes later...though i am extremely excited to go back to school though, strange.
* Put a body part on fire for amusement: hmm..well i did burn my fingers the other day because some people don't know how to light up their lighters properly, then there was my toes with jeff and i bet you that you prolly did it when you were little and burnt up strands of hair just cause it was silly. shit, you mean that was only me? * Been hurt emotionally: i think at times that could really be just my fault for being too sensitive or letting things affect me but yeah. * Kept a secret from everyone: don't we all have things kept in the innermost valves of our hearts? * Had an imaginary friend: she had pink and purple curly hair and talked in swahili. we had fun together, she and i. good times i tell ya, good times.
* Cried during a Movie: more than i care to remember...really. * Fave Ice Cream: it's all his fault that i'm addicted to green tea fr haagen daz because really, who the hell eats green tea ice cream? *Fave Subject: varies between art, english or science. *Fave drink: i don't think there is a specific drink i'm completely devoted to..prolly coffee or coke or juice? * Fave Persons to talk to online: i have no idea..the list is pretty long. or at times, really short.
:P -------------------RIGHT NOW------------------ * Wearing: top and shorts i dug out from the unwanted pile of shit i have lying around. * Hair is: wet, short and colored * I'm feeling: melancholic, grateful, sleepy, anxious, lonely, stupid, bored. * Eating : nothing..unless you count the ice chips i'm chewing on..? * Drinking : orange+carrot juice * Thinkin bout : so many things and trying to not think about them at the same time * Listening to : dmb * Talkin 2: no one in particular except a three way with david and terence. don't feel like talking much tonight so am hiding. ---------------IN THE LAST 24 HRS------------------ * Cried: yeah.
a while this morning, a short one at the doctor's and a retarded one in the shower. it's been a long day and i'm emotional and hormonally imbalanced, forgive me. * Worn a skirt : nope, today was a jeans day * Met someone New : special new? no. new new, yeah. the asshole that backed into my dad's car this morning.
dumb cow. * Cleaned your room: clean? well, i sorted through a couple of things tonight but no, generally i don't really help to clean up much. sorry. * Done laundry : that too. * Drove a car: didn't drive today either, took the safe route and stole uncle ahmad.
my dad's car got fucked anyway so it didn't make much of a difference. all these fucking excuses..pah. ---------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------------ * Yourself: i have my days * Your friends: yeah * Santa Claus : only cos he lets me have his other cookie * Tooth Fairy : nope, she's mean. * Destiny/Fate : i believe that we all have a specific path we need to go through but i also believe that there are also choices and decisions that you make along the way that determine your destiny * Ghosts: yes, especially the big fat ones that haunt me late at night * UFO's : i swear i live with them sometimes. -----------------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------ * Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? : no * Like anyone?
: what do you think? * Who's the loudest: trying to think and the best name i can come out with is lai jin. i swear her voice reverberates(sp? ) * Who's the shyest : chris? only cause it takes him so long before he'll have a complete conversation with your friends and be comfortable * Who's the weirdest : :) * Who do you go to for advice : i don't know, you don't really need to go anywhere, it just comes.. * Who do you cry to ? : i don't know..myself?
god? him? * When you cried the most: grandma * Whats the best feeling in the world: believing in yourself. loving life..? * Worst feeling: when everything feels like it's crashing down on you and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. the feeling of nothingness.
* Who will respond to this email the fastest? : considering it's not an email...i wouldn't really know. * Who did you send this to who wont reply : no one. i'm just trying to distract myself really, this is apparently supposed to help.. * Who sent this 2u: albert lim * Do you want all your friends to do this and send it back to you: sure, if they read it i guess? 
