  long fucking ass post "summed up" in ten points. i. blogger is a fuckturd. they shut me up for a whole fucking damn ten days! ii. blogger is amazing. thank you tech-support.
iii. i'm being tested for cervical cancer. whoop dee doo dah! "the world is a funny paper read backwards, and that way ain't funny," so this is this week's drama. and i seem so nonchalant i know, but maybe i'm in shock. maybe i'm just used to it.
maybe, i don't know, just maybe. maybe it is nothing. maybe it's just an infection. maybe the slides she examined weren't mine. lets just harbor on maybe, it's the second anniversary of 9/11, and i still have hope. i'm going to be okay.
i'm going to be alright. because i'm a fucking fighter, because i will make it, because i'm just good like that. iv. be grateful for what you have and what you don't have. ever notice how extremely fucking far buildings are on campus when you're on heels and you have ten minutes to get into class? and this is going to sound so wrong, but pap smears are so fucking disgustingly painful, stupid, and retarded.
how is it that the answer to everything is sticking something up you, poking around, and aggravating an already equally aggravated thing? blech. blech. pooi. v. my question was if you missed me and not if i was pregnant. but just for the record, HELL NO!
and i was puking like tap water this morning so that was the first thing that came to mind. (thank you depo-provera) vi. why in the goddamn hell am i so cheery?!?! vii. we had a quiet night of getting stoned on homemade magaritas and 'fruitful' conversation the other night. maybe i'm all talked out, or as we learn in psychology.
in fucking denial. really though, how many damn times have i watched this movie? change already! viii. to the one that completes me, and lets me complete him ; so often i know it's crazy. so many parts of us, so many different experiences and meanings to us are derived from other people, other pictures from other places in our lives.
our past sometimes knowingly, sometimes unacceptingly twined into us and now. "we do good together, you and me...or i...well, you know," and there is so much left in between that stands preciously and precociously to be unravelled. waits to be explored. pussy whipped and all things great. little things, silly things, that suddenly, crazily fall into place. with time.
with learning. with ups and downs and lefts and rights and befores and nows. but eight months later, going on nine...we are still together. stronger than ever, more vulnerable than anything. but i love you. and love can be so many things and nothing at once.
the tears you cry from a whisper, a touch, a breath of silence on thin pulses.. three simple complex words. i whisper, i scream, i bellow. wipe away, it's okay silly, we're okay. i have you. and you have me. welcome home, sexykins.
welcome home, luv. we made it through summer. ......even if i break. even if i fall again. even if i scrape my knees, break my neck and never walk again. or so i say.
now. or so i do, now. or so i want to be, now. and now is everything. and everything is now. building, rebuilding, tearing down, mending.
and a whole lot of loving. :P i feel your breath on my skin, and and you move deep inside me, beneath where skin on skin touches, you touch me right there. and i am at a crossroad again. reaching for your hands that beckon my way. looking in your eyes that gently guide your soul. we celebrate an anniversary...and you hesssitantly spurt out 'i love you' in my language.
my laughter fills the air, rumbles in my lungs. i love you too, silly. i love you. thank you for being there, here, in my life. ix. if the social life and medicine doesn't kill you, the homework will.
5 papers and a presentation to finish THIS weekend. x. and lastly, to sum up everything and anything, life is like a dick, when it's hard, you fuck it. :P have a great weekend y'all! hugs, love and peace. (i want hugs all three damnit! ) oh come on, humor the dying bitch will ya?
:P urlLink "But, i think, if there were more hours in the day, then there would be no sense of urgency. " 
