  urlLink urlLink urlLink urlLink urlLink urlLink urlLink urlLink 0 so i guess you're asking why and what the fuck and how and would you please make up your fucking mind you indecisive cow :) the truth is, i don't have the answers.
i don't know why i'm back and i don't exactly know why i want to do this again... maybe it has to do with the long talk we had last night about forgotten dreams and things that made you passionate, maybe i missed the a place to come, maybe i just missed writing and talking to no one and everyone at the same time, maybe i just missed this and everything it meant to me...maybe my way of trying again is ending the things i didn't succeed to the last time.
grab the bulls balls eh? yet so much has happened all at once. i am eighteen, legal. an adult. so many changes has come about within and around me yet essentially, painfully, i realize that i am still very much the same person. my heart still gets broken once in a while, a lot of the times because i have blindly led myself to that door but it's okay because i want to learn from this shit, i want to hurt so badly now if it means that i'll be fanfuckingtastic later...if that makes any sense at all anyway. i am not perfect. it hurts to say this but i am not who i wanted to be. i failed at dreams i tried to build, and while i'm falling into this abyss and drowning myself in a void of emptiness and fury i realize i am tired and that i can't go on anymore.
i tried and tried again, made the same mistakes, drew back to the same conclusions. sometimes some things don't work out and you can beat it to death but some questions just don't have answers right?
content. i have an amazing life. i have amazing friends and people that care and love me. i am making the grades and doing the things i want to do, fulfilling the little dreams and things do work out. so i still don't know why i'm back, because i'm habitual i guess. i am a stubborn selfish bitch and this is my place, my home. my corner on this side of the world and i'm just me. this is my voice. my side. leave if you don't like it but i have to accept me. i'm trying. 
